Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In some cultures, the younger generation are often told them they could achieve anything if they tried hard and never give up on any situation. There are some advantages such as, keep them motivated and never give up on situation. In contrast, there are some disadvantages as well such as, unrealistic expectation and feel pressurized.
On the one hand, in some cultures it is a common practice that youngsters often told that they could achieve anything if they tried hard. Some parents motivate their children to work hard, which helps to keep going and never give up on any situation. Motivation helps students to overcome obstacles and develop a growth mindset. For instance, when a child struggle with math, their parents encourage them to focus on their abilities and work hard. As a result, children feel confident and motivated.
However, this message may be lead to negatively interpret by youngsters, and they believe that anything can be achieved by hard work. Moreover, success also depends on several factors rather than only hard work, such as opportunities, luck and competition. perhaps some youngsters take it as a negative message and work hard and never succeed due to unavailability of opportunities and due to high competition. As a result, they feel pressurized and it creates unrealistic expectations.
In conclusion, motivating students to hard work contributes to both advantages and disadvantages. Advantages because it motivated student to work hard, whereas disadvantages because it leads to unrealistic expectations.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the essay is slightly under the 250-word minimum, which limits the depth of development. While the ideas are relevant, the discussion of the disadvantages is somewhat repetitive, and the conclusion is quite brief. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your arguments with more specific examples or nuanced reasoning. The position is clear, but the overall development is constrained by the length, leading to a somewhat superficial treatment of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'However', and 'In conclusion' are used to signal the structure. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. For instance, the phrase 'never give up on any situation' is used multiple times, which affects the natural progression of ideas. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'hard work' and 'motivated' repeatedly. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'negatively interpret by youngsters' and 'unavailability of opportunities'. To improve, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition. Using more precise academic collocations would help demonstrate a better command of the language and improve the overall quality of your expression.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'youngsters often told' (missing auxiliary verb), 'this message may be lead to' (incorrect passive voice), and 'when a child struggle' (subject-verb agreement). While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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