Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, there has been concern about parents often telling their children that they could achieve anything they want if they tried hard. In some cultures, the younger generation have often told them they could achieve anything if they tried hard and never give up on any situation. There are some advantages such as, keep them motivated and never give up on situation. In contrast, there are some disadvantages as well such as, unrealistic expectation and feel pressurized. On the one hand, in some cultures it is a common practice that youngsters often told that they could achieve anything if they tried hard. Some parents motivate their children to work hard, which helps to keep going and never give up on any situation. Motivation helps students to overcome obstacles and develop a growth mindset. For instance, when a child struggle with math, their parents encourage them to focus on their abilities and work hard. As a result, children feel confident and motivated. However, this message may be leads to negatively interpret by youngsters, and they believe that anything can be achieved by hard work. Moreover, success also depends on several factors rather than only hard work, such as opportunities, luck and competition. perhaps some youngsters take it as a negative message and work hard and never succeed due to unavailability of opportunities and due to high competition. As a result, they feel pressurized and it creates unrealistic expectations. In conclusion, motivating students to hard work contributes to both advantages and disadvantages. Advantages because it motivated student to work hard, whereas disadvantages because it leads to unrealistic expectations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention 'unrealistic expectations' and 'motivation', these points are not fully explored with sufficient depth. The introduction is repetitive, restating the prompt multiple times rather than providing a clear thesis statement. To improve, ensure each body paragraph provides a more detailed explanation and a concrete example that connects directly back to the prompt. The conclusion is also quite brief and merely summarizes the points without adding a final perspective.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'On the one hand', 'However', and 'In conclusion'. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by repetitive phrasing and some awkward transitions. For example, the opening sentences repeat the same idea about children being told they can achieve anything. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next would help achieve a higher score. Referencing is generally clear, but the structure within paragraphs could be more cohesive.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'hard work' and 'motivated' repeatedly. There are also some minor collocation errors, such as 'this message may be leads to negatively interpret', which is grammatically and lexically awkward. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and collocations related to the topic of child development and psychology, such as 'resilience', 'intrinsic motivation', or 'attainable goals'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You have several grammatical errors, such as 'the younger generation have often told them' (passive voice error) and 'when a child struggle' (subject-verb agreement). Furthermore, the phrase 'this message may be leads to negatively interpret' contains multiple errors in verb tense and word order. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to affect the overall clarity of your writing. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct passive voice construction will significantly improve your score.

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