Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Childen is the bright future of any society . Some people are told that children can achieve anything if they try hard enough. This thing show very advantages on the future of children. First of all, hard work is the most important point for success in any filled of life. children are the bright future of every country if they try to hard working and pass every difficult condition so they are also ready for face any other difficult situation. if they are not hard wokr and they are lazy and pass thier time in waste activities so thier furute is black and they move to more difficult conditions. if they are nor hard working they not try again and again in their lives. If a student is hard work he cannot fail in exam if he fail he can emprove him and try again and again and he success in every axam and the other side the student is not hard work and he is lazy in class if he is fail he cannot try again again and he cannot success in any exam so should every children are hard work and they achieve every gol of life. hard working give us many advanteges in life and hard working can not fail us but it pass everyone after some time. In conclusion, every hard working childen increase the ability of study and every cause in life so children should hard work in every condition and this is the original way of success

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. However, it focuses almost exclusively on the advantages of hard work, only briefly mentioning the consequences of failing to work hard without directly exploring the potential psychological disadvantages of the message itself, such as pressure or disappointment. Ideas are repetitive and under-developed, relying on circular arguments rather than fully extended reasoning. The position is stated generally but lacks deep exploration of the nuances of the topic. Based on the band descriptors, this performance aligns best with a Band 5.0 due to the partial treatment of the task and limited idea development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text suffers from significant organizational and mechanical issues. Paragraphing is extremely weak, with almost the entire body of the essay compressed into one massive, block-like paragraph, failing to structure ideas into clear thematic units. Cohesive devices are either missing, repetitive, or inaccurate, with excessive reliance on basic and mechanical connectors like 'First of all,' 'if,' and 'In conclusion.' There is a lack of clear logical progression throughout the body paragraph, as ideas loop back on themselves rather than advancing smoothly. Referencing and pronoun use are frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of argument. This corresponds to a Band 4.0 descriptor.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The lexical resource is very basic and repetitive. The student relies heavily on simple, common vocabulary such as 'hard work,' 'bright future,' 'success,' and 'children,' repeating these terms excessively throughout the text. There are frequent word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'pass every difficult condition,' 'furute is black,' and 'axam.' Spelling mistakes are also common (e.g., 'Childen,' 'filled,' 'emprove,' 'advanteges'). The range of vocabulary is severely limited and inadequate for expressing precise meaning, though the general topic remains faintly discernible. This performance fits comfortably within the Band 4.0 criteria.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatically, the response displays a very limited range of structures, heavily dominated by run-on sentences joined by lower-level conjunctions like 'if' and 'and.' Attempts at complex sentence forms invariably result in severe structural breakdowns and numerous grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement failures ('Childen is,' 'every children are') and tense confusion ('he is fail,' 'he success'). Punctuation is largely neglected, with missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences and improper comma splices. Errors are pervasive and frequently distort the meaning, requiring the reader to decode the text. These features are characteristic of a Band 4.0 performance.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.