Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some cultures, minors are often conveyed that if they work really hard enough they are able to achieve everything. The merits of giving children this message are it builds confident and teaches life lesson. While, the demerits are it can also lead to over confidence and negative impact.

On the one hand, this are some advantages of giving mesage, it builds confident in children. In other words, encouragement given by parents and teachers motivates a minor to achieve great things in life. In the early stage of children's life, it is really helpful when positive words are spoken over bad curse. Furthermore, it teaches them value of hardwork that influences them in later life. To exemplify, research shows that when minors are uplifted by great words of guardians, it leaves good impact on them that helps children to achieve more in life with hardwork.

On the other hand, the disadvantages are it raise over-confidence in children. In other words,

when minors are continually told to achieve everything, they train their minds to constantly work on it like that which eventually turns out negative. In addition to this, sometimes it can also lead to post trauma when they are unable to achieve somethings in the life. For instance, parents should teach children that both success and failure matters in life, as sometimes good words also impacts minors.

In conclusion, building confident and life lessons are the some of the merits of giving message to children, along with few demerits that can lead to consequences such as over-confidence and emotional trauma.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by identifying both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas tends to be repetitive and somewhat generalized, relying heavily on vague explanations rather than fully explored examples. For instance, the discussion on disadvantages mentions 'over confidence and negative impact' and later 'post trauma' but fails to flesh these concepts out thoroughly. While the main aspects of the prompt are covered, the depth of idea extension aligns best with a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is arranged coherently with a clear overall structure, including an introduction, two body paragraphs representing opposing views, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. However, the cohesion within paragraphs feels somewhat mechanical and repetitive, particularly with transitional phrases such as 'In other words' and 'Furthermore.' Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the opening sentence of the second paragraph ('this are some advantages of giving mesage'), which disrupts smooth progression. Overall, the organizational framework is adequate, fitting the Band 6 descriptor.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common words and phrases such as 'demerits,' 'guardians,' and 'emotional trauma.' However, there are noticeable lexical errors, such as 'minors are often conveyed' instead of told, 'bad curse' instead of harsh words, and 'post trauma' instead of psychological distress or trauma. Word formation and collocations are occasionally awkward, such as 'builds confident' instead of confidence. Because the errors do not severely impede communication, the response fits comfortably at Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, though complex structures are frequently marred by grammatical inaccuracies. Examples of errors include subject-verb agreement issues ('this are some advantages'), incorrect word forms ('it builds confident'), and awkward phrasing ('if they work really hard enough they are able to achieve everything'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical slips occur frequently throughout the text. While these errors rarely completely obscure the writer's meaning, they restrict the grammar score to a Band 5.5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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