Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.5)

nowadays, everyone wants to be perfect in every activity .it is believed by some cultures that children can achieve anything if they try hard . this write intends to discuss not only its merits but also its demerits in upcoming paragraphs

to commence with , sharing the advantages of told children to achieve everything in their life . primarily , they can get better job opportunities in their future if they will be perfect in every work.secondly it can be helpful for their studies and work and their future family also it creates better mindwork as well .

conversely , it also have its own demerits , which is children often get stressed of everything perfectly and become arrogant and introvert . moreover they held an mindset of competition in every work with everyone which latter can be harmful for their mental health if they ever get failed in anything.

to conclude , forcing children can be good for their future but their mental health can be disturbed by getting stressed .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response covers both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything, but the ideas are significantly under-developed due to the very short length. The text is only 172 words, falling well short of the 250-word minimum requirement. Consequently, the arguments regarding better job opportunities, stress, and arrogance are presented rather superficially without sufficient extension or supporting examples. Furthermore, the introduction and conclusion are very brief. Because the word count requirement is not met, this severely impacts the overall task achievement score, landing the response firmly at Band 4.0. To improve, you must expand your arguments and examples to ensure you meet the minimum length.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay attempts a basic paragraph structure, dividing the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion into separate paragraphs. However, the logical progression is weak and lacks cohesive depth. Transition phrases such as 'to commence with', 'secondly', and 'conversely' are used, but they are often grammatically awkward or mechanically applied. Referencing is also problematic, as seen in phrases like 'sharing the advantages of told children' and 'which is children often get stressed'. There is no clear overall progression of ideas, as the points jump abruptly from job opportunities to mental health. This organization aligns with Band 5.0 descriptors, where some basic structure is present but cohesive devices are inadequate or inaccurate.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, struggling to convey precise meanings. Phrases like 'better job opportunities', 'mental health', and 'success' are standard, but attempts at less common words result in noticeable errors and unnatural collocations, such as 'better mindwork' and 'held an mindset of competition'. There are also frequent issues with word forms, such as 'told children' instead of 'telling children'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but the limited range of vocabulary and frequent lexical inaccuracies cause some difficulty for the reader. This performance reflects Band 5.0, where the lexical resource is minimally adequate for the task but constrained by repetition and error.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The text demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at complex structures are consistently flawed, such as in the opening sentence 'nowadays, everyone wants to be perfect in every activity .it is believed by some cultures that children can achieve anything if they try hard .' Punctuation and capitalization are poorly controlled, with spaces before punctuation marks and missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences. Frequent errors occur in verb forms and clauses, such as 'if they will be perfect' and 'it also have its own demerits'. While the meaning can sometimes be guessed, errors are frequent and cause strain for the reader, placing the grammar at a Band 4.0 level.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.