Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is common in many societies for parents to tell children that they can achieve any goal if they work hard. This idea is used to encourage children, but it can also have some negative effects. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this message.
One major advantage is that it increases children's motivation and confidence. when children believe that efoort leads to success, they are more willing to study and practice. For example, a student who fails a test may try harder next time instead of giving up.Another advantage is that it teaches important values.Children learn to be responsible,desciplined,and to keep trying even when things are difficult.This can help them to become successful adults in the future.
On the other hand,there are some disadvantages.Firstly this message is not always realistic.Success doesnot depend only on hardwok.Other factors like talent,money and opportunities are also important.If a child works very hard but still fail,he may feel sad and loose confidence.Secondly this idea can put too much pressure on children.They may think,they must be the best in everything,and this can cause stress and health problem.
In conclusion, telling children that they can achieve anything through hard work has both positive and negative sides. It can motivate them and teach good values, but it can also lead to disappointment and pressure. In my opinion, parents should encourage hard work while also helping children understand their limitations.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything with hard work, presenting a clear overall position. The ideas are relevant and supported with explanations, such as increased motivation and the risk of pressure. However, there is a penalty to consider regarding the length requirement: the prompt strictly specifies a minimum of 250 words, but the student's text contains only 234 words. Because this minimum length requirement was not met, the Task Achievement score is negatively impacted. While the content demonstrates a solid understanding of the task, the under-length nature prevents a higher score. To reach a higher band, the student must ensure all task instructions are fully satisfied, including the word count minimum, and fully extend every supporting argument with greater depth.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay displays a logical overall progression with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing advantages and disadvantages separately, and a concluding summary. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as moving from motivation in the second paragraph to unrealistic expectations in the third. Cohesive devices are employed, including transition markers like 'One major advantage', 'On the other hand', 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion'. However, some cohesive mechanics are a bit simplistic or repetitive, and occasional punctuation issues (such as missing spaces after commas, e.g., 'responsible,desciplined,and') slightly disrupt the flow. Despite these minor cohesive slips, the logical sequencing makes the text easy to follow, aligning well with the characteristics of a Band 6.5 performance.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the student to communicate main ideas clearly. Words like 'motivation', 'confidence', 'opportunity', and 'disappointment' are used appropriately. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are several spelling and word choice inaccuracies throughout the text, such as 'efoort' instead of 'effort', 'desciplined' instead of 'disciplined', 'hardwok' instead of 'hard work', and 'loose' instead of 'lose'. Furthermore, the student relies on relatively common phrasing rather than demonstrating a flexible range of less common lexical items. Because these errors do not impede overall communication, the vocabulary reaches a solid Band 6 level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like conditional ideas and subordinate clauses (e.g., 'When children believe that effort leads to success, they are more willing to study and practice'). There are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues, such as missing spaces after commas, run-on structures or comma splices (e.g., 'Firstly this message', 'Secondly this idea'), and minor tense or agreement slips (e.g., 'Success doesnot depend', 'fail,he may feel', 'health problem' instead of 'health problems'). Nevertheless, the basic meaning remains clear and communication is not impeded. The command of grammar fits comfortably into the Band 6 category.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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