Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Children in many customs are taught that they can become successful if they put in sufficient effort. There are many pros and cons to this approach. The positive side is that it would build their confidence and make them more hard working towards a goal. On the other hand it can also make them extremely unrealistic and proud.

The primary goal for this technique would be that, it would help them build their confidence in themselves. Make them believe that nothing is restricting them to fulfill their goal. Since children are young and naive the motivation helps them improve their self esteem and makes them more hopeful in the future. It also makes them understand the importance effort plays in getting successfull. When effort is more celebrated than success the child starts enjoying the journey more than the goal. For instance, Alyssa Liu the gold medalist in ice skating said that she would have still enjoyed competing even if she did not win. She was just enjoying the process and knew she gave it her all.

On the other hand this approach might be the reason children become unrealistic. A lot of times there are situations out of ones control. Where how much ever effort you put in it won't let you win. In these situations the child maybe not know what to do and might become completely hopeless and blame themselves for not putting in enough effort. It must be taught to them, that its alright to lose. It is also argues by many that this system might make the younger generation arrogant and proud in themselves. If they believe that they can do anything. It can become their ego and can hinder growth in long run. As they would directly trust that they can achieve anything and would stop trying to prove it one they achieved their goal. For instance if a child got a high grade in math after studying for 2 hours before the test. That child will never study math exceeding the 2 hour mark, even though the additional practice might help him get a even higher grade.

In conclusion, Being told that children may achieve whatever they set thier mind to, if required effort is applied. Is a good arguement and has many benefits like building their confidence and making them work towards their goal. Perhaps they should also be told that failure is not final and keep putting in effort even after being successful. It would be more impactfull.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. The advantages, such as building confidence and promoting a healthy focus on effort rather than just outcomes, are supported with a relevant example of an ice skater. The disadvantages, including unrealistic expectations and potential arrogance, are also explored with an example regarding a math test. While some ideas could be extended further for greater depth, the response meets the requirements of the task well, earning a solid Band 7.0 for addressing both sides of the prompt with relevant and developed ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a clear logical organization and progression throughout. The response is appropriately paragraphed, with a clear introduction, separate body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used adequately, such as 'On the other hand' and 'For instance', to guide the reader through the arguments. However, referencing is occasionally imprecise, and some sentences in the conclusion are fragmented or lack structural integration, such as 'Is a good arguement and has many benefits...'. Despite minor mechanical issues with cohesion, the overall arrangement is coherent, fully warranting a Band 6.5.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate and appropriate range of vocabulary for the task. Less common lexical items are attempted, such as 'unrealistic', 'self-esteem', 'arrogant', and 'hinder growth'. There are, however, occasional word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'getting successfull' instead of 'achieving success', 'the child maybe not know' instead of 'may not know', and 'arguement' instead of 'argument'. Spelling and word-formation errors do not impede communication, but they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. The lexical resource demonstrates sufficient flexibility for a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at varied structures through relative clauses and conditional-like scenarios. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues, such as sentence fragments in the conclusion ('Being told that children may achieve... Is a good arguement...'), missing commas, and tense inconsistencies. For example, 'Where how much ever effort you put in it won't let you win' contains awkward phrasing and grammatical slips. While these errors do not severely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to place the grammar performance firmly in the Band 6.0 category.

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