Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the era of compition, children are mostly told that they can achive anything it they try hard enough. Parents always want to see their children sucessful in the life, therefore they always advising their children to work hard for get the great achievements in life. In the further paragraphs we will discuss the pros and cons of too advising children early in the life to work hard enough.

First of all, their are many benifits of telling the children to work with patience if they wanted to get the achivements in their lives. Through this, children can make plan early and chose best field which is suitable for them. And it aslo help them for become mature early in the life. If children cannot make plan are their parents cannot ask them to that they can achieve something, it become difficult for the children to make dicigions in their life, they will not able to make the decigion at the age of achieve something.

On the other hand, their are lot of drawbacks of telling children to work hard enough for achieve something. This periodof time making the life of children very difficult. Told them in early age to children to work hard is'nt a good approach, because different types of children exist in the world, like some mautre children observe the instruction of their parents but their are also some sensitive children are exist in the world, they take it on the heart and start taking just tension and it may fact their mental health in very young age. Therefore children should not be told in early life for hard work.

In a nutshell, different cultures have their own point of view, but I would like to go that children should be told in early life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A position is presented, stating that children should be given this message in early life. However, the ideas lack sufficient depth and development. For instance, the advantage regarding planning and maturity is introduced but remains underdeveloped and repetitive, as seen in sentences like 'it aslo help them for become mature early in the life'. The counterargument about mental health touches on a valid point regarding sensitive children, but the explanation is vague and obscured by frequent language errors. Overall, the task is addressed, corresponding to a Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay attempts a standard four-paragraph structure, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by repetitive phrasing and weak cohesive devices. For example, transition phrases such as 'In the further paragraphs we will discuss' are unnatural and formulaic. Referencing is frequently unclear, as seen in 'This periodof time making the life of children very difficult' where the referent is vague. Furthermore, paragraphing is poorly executed due to run-on sentences and a lack of smooth internal transitions, placing the response firmly at Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Vocabulary is limited and repetitive throughout the essay. The writer frequently relies on basic terms such as 'children', 'life', 'work hard', and 'achievements'. There are also numerous spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'compition' instead of competition, 'achive' instead of achieve, 'sucessful' instead of successful, 'benifits' instead of benefits, and 'dicigions' instead of decisions. While the intended meaning can generally be deduced, these frequent lexical errors impede fluency and demonstrate a limited control of word forms and spelling, warranting a Band 4.5, which rounds to 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The grammatical range is severely restricted, consisting predominantly of simple and frequently faulty complex sentence attempts. There are persistent errors in basic grammar, such as missing articles ('in life', 'at age of achieve something'), incorrect prepositions ('take it on the heart'), and severe subject-verb agreement or auxiliary errors ('their are many benifits', 'some sensitive children are exist', 'is'nt a good approach'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing apostrophes and run-on clauses. Because errors occur in almost every sentence and frequently strain the reader's comprehension, the performance aligns with Band 4.5, recorded as 4.5.

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