Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this modern world, in some cultures childern are often told that they can achive anything by hardwork and consistencey. Similarly the people prefer to teach their childern from very young

age about hardwork and passion.

On the one hand, the advantages of giving the message about hardwork in young age to childern is necessary because the childer grap thing quickly during small age. Similarly, the children often taught about passion and learning new things. For instant, in Indian culture the parent teach their childern about continous hardwork leads to success and they share important thing that they learned in their journey. As a result, the childern learn from parents and teachers . However, the teacher and parents make childern responsible and hardworking.

On the other hand, the disavantages of telling childern about hardwork at very young age is that their very small to u derstant such difficult things. Futhermore, teaching about hardwork to childern is not correct. Since the childhood is the period of time when the children want to play and have fun, rather than learning about succes and hardwork the parent should allow them to enjoy their childhood. To cite an example in other countries likely, England their the parents only teach about descipline not harrdwork .Consequently, the childer should be allowed to play and learn.

In conclusion, in some socities the parent just want their childer to study and they do not give time to enjoy. The people should make the childern to learn new things and to live their life happily.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas tends to be repetitive and limited. For instance, the discussion on advantages largely restates the idea of learning hard work from parents and teachers without providing deep elaboration. Examples given, such as mentioning Indian culture or England, are somewhat generalized and lack detailed support. This performance aligns best with Band 5, as the ideas are presented but remain somewhat under-developed and circular.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs representing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. There is a basic attempt at logical organization, utilizing cohesive markers like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand". However, progression is frequently hindered by repetitive phrasing and inadequate or inaccurate cohesive devices. For example, the transitional phrase "To cite an example in other countries likely, England their the parents" is grammatically awkward and poorly integrated. Paragraphing is present, but overall the flow lacks smoothness, warranting a Band 5 score.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors throughout the text (e.g., "childern" instead of children, "achive" instead of achieve, "consistencey", "grap", "u derstant", "descipline", "harrdwork"). There are also noticeable word-choice inaccuracies, such as "their very small to u derstant" instead of "they are too young to understand". While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the general topic, the numerous lexical and spelling errors frequently strain the reader, fitting the Band 4 descriptor closely, though it edges towards Band 5 due to attempts at topic-related terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as "the advantages of giving the message about hard work in young age to childern is necessary" and "the children want to play and have fun, rather than learning about succes and hardwork the parent should allow them". Punctuation is also problematic, with missing apostrophes and run-on structures. These persistent errors frequently cause difficulty for the reader and reflect Band 4 grammatical control.

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