Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-15
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In some cultures, it has been told to children that they can achieve anything or can conquer any milestone by just working as hard as they can. While this suggestion is true at some point, but it is not an entire truth. There are advantages and disadvantages of this type of mentality.
First, while talking about advantages, by working hard or pushing itself, one can achieve multiple goals. These goals can be completing a degree, getting a scholarship in reputable institute or even getting selected in dream job. By getting this message, students will tend to work harder, and while doing so they will learn to do tasks themselves instead of relying on someone else. This thinking can make them more mature in taking their work more seriously.
However, there are some disadvantages too that are hidden in shadows. Only working hard does not always ensure success. It is equally important to work smart. Work harder and smarter both goes hands in hands and complement each other. With such message, kids will only focus on one aspect and might overlook another side of the coin. Furthermore, for instance, a child working harder for years for obtaining certain goal does not achieve it. It can lead him to being depressed, anxious or hopeless.
In conclusion, cultures should not implant only this thinking in kid's brain. Afterall, tons of different percpetives and scenarios are associated with success. Working hard and working smart is the best combination with addition of an understanding that the target still might not be accomplished.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work. The writer presents a clear position throughout the essay, introducing the viewpoint in the introduction and expanding upon both sides in the body paragraphs. For instance, the advantages are illustrated through examples like completing a degree or getting a dream job, while disadvantages are explored through the importance of working smart and the emotional toll of unmet goals. Ideas are generally well supported and extended, although the development could be slightly deeper in places to reach the highest bands. Overall, the task response is well-managed, fulfilling all core requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay presents a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. It is divided into an introduction, two distinct body paragraphs covering advantages and disadvantages respectively, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used effectively to connect ideas, such as 'First', 'However', and 'Furthermore'. However, there are some minor mechanical issues with cohesion and referencing, such as 'pushing itself' instead of 'pushing oneself' and slight awkwardness in paragraph transitions. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately to separate the different stages of the argument. Overall, the logical flow is easy to follow, supporting a coherent reading experience.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'conquer any milestone', 'reputable institute', and 'overlook another side of the coin'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and phrasing, such as 'it has been told to children', 'work harder and smarter both goes hands in hands', and 'implant only this thinking in kid's brain'. While these errors do not impede communication, they restrict the lexical score. Spelling is generally accurate, and the vocabulary deployed is sufficient to convey the intended meaning clearly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at conditional structures and relative clauses. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward structures throughout the response, such as 'it has been told to children' (passive voice misuse), 'pushing itself' (pronoun error), and 'Work harder and smarter both goes hands in hands' (subject-verb agreement and word form issues). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical inaccuracies occur with enough frequency to prevent the score from reaching a higher band. Nevertheless, communication is rarely impeded by these errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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