Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In few traditions,kids are being told that if the try hard, they can gain anything that they want.Which I hundred percent agree with the sentiment although it has both pros and cons.
The biggest benefit is a freedom of choice about what they want to achive as there are no restrictions.However this statement can lead to demotivation also a performace pressure due to that one can suffer throught stress or anxity.
Freedom is the main and significant adventage.A kid can pursue whatever they like as restriction or the pressure of parents will be null so that they can focus and work hard with whole interest to reach a specific goal.For instance,content creating nowadays attracting many kids though society or parents won't see it as reputable.However a person can do content creating with all their heart as there are no restrictions.
Despite of this there is a major drawback in given statement which is ,one can demotivated during their trying phases which can also lead to anxity.In addition to that they will try to be a good in desire goal leads to peer pressure.Sometimes people get exhausted by trying multiple times.Some faced a constent failure which leads to demotivation.Furthermore success doesn't come easily,it takes time and people get demotivated as well.For example,admition tests are crucial parts of a student,they all try hard to get into their dream colleges though not all students gets there.Due to that some lose hopes or interest and give up.
In conclusion,with all the pros and cons,tell kids to keep it on their mind that if they are really inclined to something,they should keep trying after all hard works pays off.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. The student presents a clear position ('Which I hundred percent agree with the sentiment although it has both pros and cons') and attempts to develop relevant ideas regarding freedom of choice and the potential for demotivation, stress, and peer pressure. However, the development remains somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly in the body paragraphs where points about demotivation and anxiety are restated multiple times without significant extension. Examples such as content creation and admission tests are introduced to support the ideas, but they lack depth. According to the band descriptors, the task is addressed with relevant ideas, but under-development of supporting points places this performance at a Band 5.5 to 6.0 level. Overall, it satisfies the requirements for Band 6.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, separating the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. However, cohesion is often faulty or mechanical. The student relies on basic and repetitive cohesive devices such as 'However', 'In addition to that', and 'Furthermore'. Furthermore, referencing and logical progression within paragraphs are sometimes unclear, as seen in the second body paragraph where multiple sentences repeat the concept of demotivation due to failure without a smooth transitional flow. Paragraph transitions lack sophistication, and punctuation errors occasionally disrupt the flow. These features align closely with the Band 5.0 to 5.5 descriptors, ultimately earning a Band 5.5 for coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully using terms such as 'sentiment', 'restrictions', 'exhausted', and 'inclined'. However, there are frequent word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'In few traditions' (instead of 'In some cultures'), 'kids are being told that if the try hard' (omitting 'they'), 'performace' (performance), 'throught' (through), 'anxity' (anxiety), 'adventage' (advantage), 'content creating' (content creation), 'admition' (admission), and 'constent' (constant). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are noticeable and cause some difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 5 descriptor well.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating conditional structures ('if they try hard, they can gain anything') and relative clauses. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors in verb forms, prepositions, articles, and sentence fragments (e.g., 'Which I hundred percent agree with the sentiment', 'a freedom of choice', 'restriction or the pressure of parents will be null so that', 'tell kids to keep it on their mind'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces after commas and periods. These persistent errors can cause difficulty for the reader and reflect a limited ability to control complex structures consistently, indicating a Band 5 performance.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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