Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In several cultures, children are taught about achieving anything with hard work. While this trend offers certain advantages in terms of, self-discipline and strong work ethics. It also brings notable drawbacks that should not be overlooked, stress or anxiety and loss of play in childhood.

First and foremost, various cultures teaches children about achieving their goals with hard work can be beneficial as, self-discipline. It is a type of habit in which people do their work properly and on time. It can be developed in children's mind at a young age, which can be helpful in the life very much. For instance- a 3rd standard boy is taught about self-discipline by his parents and his teachers, which made him a very disciplined boy, that helped him a lot in life. Furthermore, discipline creates self ethics in a children's mind.

However, these were the benefits but it also has some negative externalities such as stress or anxiety. Stress and anxiety are caused by fear or tension about something, like achieving something through hard work is not an easy task. This can be the reason some children get anxiety attacks at a young age. For instance, a 10th grade student is told to do hard work for a year, several times for achieving good grades as a result it creates stress in that student's mind. Furthermore, hard work can also lead to loss of play in childhood, which is a crucial part if life. The mental growth is equally important as the physical growth.

In conclusion, hard work provides benefits like self-discipline and teaches work ethics, but at the same time, it also have some drawbacks like stress or anxiety and loss of play in childhood. So there are both advantages and disadvantages of giving this message to children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything with hard work. Your position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout the essay. Ideas such as self-discipline, work ethics, stress, anxiety, and the loss of childhood play are relevant and generally supported with explanations and examples, such as the 3rd standard boy and the 10th-grade student. However, the examples are a bit anecdotal and overly simplistic rather than well-developed abstract arguments typical of higher bands. Nevertheless, all parts of the task are addressed adequately, fulfilling the criteria for a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate advantages and disadvantages. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, the second sentence of the introduction is an incomplete fragment starting with 'While this trend...' which creates a disjointed flow. In the body paragraphs, transitional phrases like 'First and foremost, various cultures teaches children...' contain awkward structural integration, and referencing such as 'these were the benefits but it also has...' is occasionally clumsy. Overall, the logical progression is clear, fitting the standard of a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your main points about discipline, stress, and childhood play. You attempt less common vocabulary such as 'negative externalities,' 'self-discipline,' and 'anxiety attacks,' but there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'creates self ethics in a children\'s mind' instead of 'instills a strong work ethic in children.' There are also minor slips in vocabulary control, but these do not impede communication, placing this response firmly in the Band 6.0 range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. You attempt complex structures, but they are frequently accompanied by grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, 'various cultures teaches children' has a subject-verb agreement error, and 'a crucial part if life' contains a preposition slip. Furthermore, sentence boundaries are sometimes breached, as seen in the incomplete introductory sentence fragment. While errors occur across the text, they rarely impede overall communication, reflecting the characteristics of Band 5.5 to 6.0. Given the presence of frequent minor errors alongside successful simple sentences, a Band 5.5 is appropriate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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