Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Children are often instructed that they can get anything if they are hard workers, in some cutures. This can have a serious impact on a child's mind.

A child's mind is like a plain white board, or a canvas on which you can paint anything you like. The responsibility falls on the shoulders of the adults how they train their children's mind and their behaviour. Hard working is fruitful but is not always the answer to every question. There are many instances where smart work is more needed as compared to the hard work. We need to understand that in this era of technology and modernisation, there is far more need of adults who are smart workers, hence childrens should be trained in a similar manner.

In my experience, I have seen people who are street smart, works less and gets more benefits in life, during the studies as well as in the offices. So, the art of spending your energy and in a useful manner is far important than just directionless work. For example, students who crams the books and the one who understands it, both performs differently.

Telling children that they can only be successful if they work hard is wrong, beacuse sometimes it's just not in your fate, and the child would blame him/herself for not working hard enough if they fail to achieve their goal. This starts a vicious cycle of contemplating and cursing yourself which in turn proves to have negative impact on the productivity of the child in future.

I wouldn't totally disagree with the statement, I mean with hard work you can surely achieve anything but it's not always the case. I believe that if children are taught the art of balancing hard work together with smart work, they can achieve far more than with one quality alone.

In conclusion, children should not be fed with such neagtive thoughts, beacuse the advantaged are far less than the harm it might cause.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work. The writer presents a clear position that while hard work is valuable, it must be balanced with smart work, and an overemphasis on relentless effort can lead to negative psychological consequences such as self-blame. Ideas are generally relevant and extended, such as the comparison between rote learning and conceptual understanding. However, the development of ideas tends to be slightly conversational and relies on general assertions rather than deeper exploration, which places the essay firmly in Band 6 territory. The discussion touches upon key aspects of the prompt well, but could benefit from a more academic tone and broader supporting arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of ideas, moving from an introduction to arguments on smart work, the psychological impact of failure, a nuanced personal perspective, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points. However, cohesion at the sentence level is occasionally mechanical or faulty, as seen in phrases like 'In my experience, I have seen people...' and some awkward transitional links. Referencing is mostly clear, though some pronouns lack precise antecedents. Overall, the organizational structure is easy to follow, supporting a Band 6 score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'modernisation', 'vicious cycle', and 'contemplating'. However, there are notable spelling errors ('cutures', 'crams', 'neagtive', 'advantaged') and word choice inaccuracies, such as 'works less and gets more benefits' and 'directionless work'. While these errors do not seriously impede communication, they reflect typical Band 6 characteristics where lexical control lacks precision and slips occur with less common vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some ambition with conditional and multi-clause structures, such as 'if children are taught the art of balancing hard work together with smart work, they can achieve far more...'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, including subject-verb agreement issues ('people who are street smart, works less and gets more benefits') and incorrect article usage ('the smart work is more needed'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the frequency of grammatical slips keeps the score at Band 6.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.