Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In contemporary societies, youngsters are taught to work hard and devote thier energy and time on one skill, which leads them to have a bright future and successful life. There many aspects and example if person try to learnn and inhance thier abilities. This essay will discuss this phenomenon with potential reasons and valuable solutions in the following paragraphs
Firsty, from the the younger age children find themself in compitition, whether in school and sports which introduce them to the real world. If a student spent 8 hours a day while studying mathematics and science there are more chance to perform well in exams for student especailly in logical subjects. As the human reach to the mass and trying to build colonies over there this is just becuase some scientists researched and failed multiple times but eventually they did it, which shows the sign of determination towards goal. For instance- 14 year old Southindian chess palyer became the world champion in 2024, 15 year student of government school in Noida got selected in the space research by NASA .
However, there are several downside signs of forcing children in the early age to pursue a career path which can destroy and affect their childhood in many aspects. In the childhood children should have freedom to explore the world and try multiple tasks. This is the time for their leisure and making valuable friends and live life freely without any hesitaion and pressure. Fo instance- in china and japan children forced to pay more attention to academics to achieve score which direclty impact on future in sports.
In conclusion, it cruical for youngsters to have a goal in life
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work. The writer attempts to cover both sides, noting the motivational benefits and real-world examples in the body paragraphs, alongside the drawbacks of pressure and restricted childhood exploration. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and includes irrelevant phrases in the introduction, such as mentioning 'valuable solutions,' which are not part of the prompt. Furthermore, the conclusion is severely truncated, consisting of only a single incomplete sentence ('It cruical for youngsters to have a goal in life'). Despite these limitations, the main thrust of the task is addressed, placing the response securely in Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay displays a basic logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion. However, the overall progression suffers due to abrupt transitions and poor paragraph management, particularly with the conclusion being an isolated, unfinished sentence. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or repetitively, such as 'Firsty,' 'For instance-' and 'Fo instance-.' Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the mechanical repetition of transitional phrases disrupts the flow. Paragraphing is attempted, but the lack of a fully realized concluding paragraph and underdeveloped transitions limit the coherence. These features align with the Band 5.0 descriptors.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student uses a limited and repetitive vocabulary with frequent spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples of misspellings and lexical inaccuracies include 'thier' for their, 'compitition' for competition, 'inhance' for enhance, 'Firsty' for Firstly, 'the the' for the, 'palyer' for player, and 'cruical' for crucial. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'contemporary societies' and 'determination,' the high frequency of basic lexical and spelling errors means the performance reflects the Band 5.0 level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty and accompanied by numerous grammatical errors. Examples of structural and grammatical inaccuracies include missing prepositions and articles ('devote thier energy and time on', 'from the the younger age'), subject-verb agreement issues ('There many aspects', '15 year student... got selected'), and fragment sentences. Punctuation is also erratic, with hyphen misuse used in place of proper punctuation marks. Because errors are frequent and occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, the grammar performance corresponds to Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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