Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many cultures usually encourage their children to put more effort into their works so that they can be successful in all their endeavors. While this trend offers some benefits, it also presents notable drawbacks. These essay will discuss both merits and demerits of this trend.

On the negative side, one of the major consequence of encouraging children to work hard in order to produce a good result is that it fosters competition and lack of team work. Firstly, children who are brought up with this advise often see others as their rival, so they tend to get jealous of other people success. A clear example is a child who always feel bad when her friend gets a better grade than her. Secondly, these set of people struggle with cooperation and they always wants others to know they are intelligent and need nobody assistance.

On the postive side, training a child to work harder always make them to be highly intelligent and this is because they believe they can be the best in thier scope, so they tend to study harder. Although, some might need someone else to guide them through, because of this ideology they tends to do things alone. Furthermore, children that are brought up this way don't usually give up easily, so they strive harder in order to secure what they want. For instance, a student with this mentality that kept on failing maths will have a mindset that as long as he keep on studying he will surely pass this course.

In conclusion, although training a child in a way that they will believe they can achieve anything by working harder fosters some benefit such as boosting of intelligent skills and inability to give up easily, this trend is also associated with some consequences such as seeing their teams as a competition and inability to work as a team.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear position is established in the introduction and maintained throughout the essay. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as a student dealing with a difficult math course and peer comparison regarding grades. However, there is a tendency to slightly over-generalise and some supporting points could be more deeply developed to reach higher band levels. For instance, the discussion on intelligence in the positive paragraph remains somewhat basic. Overall, the prompt is well-handled and meets the core requirements effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay presents a clear logical organisation with a recognizable introduction, body paragraphs addressing distinct sides, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion', providing a coherent overall arrangement. However, some cohesive links feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, and referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as 'these set of people' instead of 'this set of people'. Progression is generally clear throughout, though smoother transitions between sentences would elevate the coherence further.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'endeavors', 'ideology', and 'mentality'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices throughout the text. Examples include 'put more effort into their works' instead of 'work', 'this advise' instead of 'this advice', 'thier scope' with a spelling error, and 'boosting of intelligent skills' which is unnatural collocation. While communication is never impeded, these inaccuracies restrict the score to Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating conditional and relative clauses. However, there are frequent grammatical errors in tense, agreement, and singular/plural usage. Examples include 'These essay will discuss' (plural/singular mismatch), 'one of the major consequence' (should be 'consequences'), 'she always feel bad' (subject-verb agreement), 'she always wants' combined with 'need nobody assistance' (double negative/agreement), and 'as long as he keep on studying' (verb form). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical slips occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band.

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