Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Children are the future of every society. Nowadays, parents and societies often encourage their children that hard work can help them achieve their goals. While this message can motivate children, it may also create unrealistic expectations and unnecessary pressure.

In terms of advantages, giveing children this message can increase their confidence. When children get motivated that hard work pays off, their confidence can increase and, therefore, they will be more willing to work hard in order to achieve their dreams. Additionally, such messages can increase their sense of resposibility. Children can be more responsible when they know that the only way to succeed is by working hard.

On the other hand, childreen needs to live their childhood away from pressure. As some dreams are unrealistic and hard to achieve, working hard in order to achieve them can cause unnecessary pressure that may lead to depression and anxiety. Moreover, children under stress are more tend to have mental health problems. A recent research illustrates tht children who work under stress are tend to have more mental breakdowns that other children.

Furthermore, with the increase demands of parents for children to work hard and without providing a clear reasonable goal, some children may make bad decision that can affect their life. For example, in order to achieve more money, some children decide to leave school from a very young age.

In conclusion, altough hard work can help children achievnig their dreams, sometimes this message can be misunderstood by children. Children can choose bad desicions and can sacrifice their childhood for unrealistc goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. The ideas are relevant and generally supported, though some points, such as the mention of children leaving school to make money, could be more fully explained. For instance, the writer states that 'some children decide to leave school from a very young age,' which touches upon the disadvantages of unrealistic expectations. While the development tends to generalise slightly, the core requirements of the prompt are well-covered, aligning with the criteria for Band 6.5 or a solid Band 6. The content addresses the topic directly and presents coherent arguments for both sides.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of ideas. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'In terms of advantages,' 'On the other hand,' 'Moreover,' and 'In conclusion' are utilised to guide the reader through the text, although some referencing and transitions can occasionally feel slightly mechanical. For example, the transition 'Furthermore, with the increase demands' introduces a new paragraph effectively, but minor cohesion errors like 'increase demands' instead of 'increased demands' slightly disrupt the flow. Overall, the organisation is clear and easy to follow, supporting a Band 6 rating.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'unrealistic expectations,' 'unnecessary pressure,' and 'mental health problems.' However, there are several lexical errors and spelling mistakes throughout the text, including 'giveing' instead of 'giving,' 'resposibility' instead of 'responsibility,' 'childreen' instead of 'children,' and 'tht' instead of 'that.' Additionally, phrases like 'more tend to have' and 'achievning' demonstrate issues with word formation and collocation. Despite these slips, the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main points clearly, which fits the descriptor for Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as conditional and subordinate clauses ('When children get motivated that hard work pays off, their confidence can increase...'). However, there are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward structures throughout the response, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'childreen needs' and 'children... are tend to have.' Punctuation and article usage also show occasional inconsistencies, such as 'A recent research' instead of 'Recent research' or 'A recent study.' While these errors do not impede overall communication, their frequency prevents the essay from reaching a higher band, placing it firmly at Band 6.

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