Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Although this trend has certain advantages it also has some disadvantages in many cultures childhold are often told that they can achieve something if they try hard enough these essay will discuss both views and my own opinion upcoming pregraph there are many advantages

To commence with these type of them the dificulty can face to gain new knowledge time and effect put on these work and most time spend its like a punjabi culture are change to sandhi culture different living styel and eat wood wear many kind of thing in daily reutine for instance like a visit on one place i will wacth a proper change function on marrage sermany and dressing set very uniqe and modren dessinge such as they will a hard enough put on any work on them so future is shinning and growth your encome so first hard work life and gain all kind of thing in a fast or easy way

On the other hand a can told my friend achieve life gool set and move to out of country and five yeard work very hard and result outcome better i see after he retern back home and buy new home car life style proper change they can possible on work hard and not drop a family culture for example i will vist one place and watch some people throw our and drop family cultue and new style join in daily life and children work will see and fast rection on them

In provide a wil see thse ara hard work can one day result will see and happy life on often told or achieve hard try to massage all young generation

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. However, the development of ideas is severely hampered by major issues with clarity, logic, and relevance. The student touches upon effort, hard work, and lifestyle changes, but introduces tangential discussions about cultural shifts, weddings, and moving abroad that obscure the core topic. While a position is vaguely discernible, the ideas remain largely under-developed and difficult to follow due to disjointed reasoning. Consequently, the response aligns best with Band 4 descriptors, where the task is addressed only minimally and tangentially.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

Coherence and cohesion are major weaknesses in this essay. The text lacks clear logical organisation and progression throughout. While the writer attempts to use transitional markers such as 'To commence with' and 'On the other hand', these devices are used incorrectly and fail to guide the reader through a logical argument. Paragraphing is highly problematic; the essay features one massive introductory block followed by unstructured chunks of text that do not follow standard essay conventions. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it extremely difficult to track the relationships between ideas. This level of organisation corresponds directly to Band 3 or 4 descriptors, and a score of 4.0 is appropriate as information is not arranged coherently.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used throughout the essay is basic, repetitive, and often entirely inappropriate for the context. Words are frequently misused, leading to severe breakdowns in communication, as seen in phrases like 'change to sandhi culture' and 'growth your encome'. There are numerous non-standard word choices and spelling errors that strain the reader and obscure meaning. While the student attempts some less common vocabulary, the lack of control over word choice, collocation, and spelling places this response firmly at Band 4, where vocabulary is basic and errors consistently strain the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of fragmented, run-on sentences that lack proper punctuation and clause structure. There is a complete absence of reliable complex structures, and even basic sentence construction is frequently faulty. Errors in grammar, tense, and agreement are pervasive throughout the text, occurring in almost every sentence and frequently distorting the intended meaning. Because errors are dense and constant across the response, making comprehension extremely difficult, the writing falls squarely into Band 4 descriptors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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