Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In various cultures, youngsters are taught that they can get anything in life if they work hard. This situation create several challenges for the children and there are some disdvantages and advantages of this.

One of the advantage of this ritual is that the youngsters are taught in young age to work hard, which makes them prepared for it from a young age. The teachings of elders remain with children throughout their life and they do not forget things which are taught by elders frequently. Another advantage of this message is that students actually work hard to acheive whatever they want.

In addition, the disadavntage of this message is that it is not always hard work that gets something, but sometimes there is luck. Hard work is not always enough to get whatever one wants in his or her life. Smart work is the other way to hard work, if someone works smartly but not harder than someone else than most probably, the one who works smartly will get what he or she wants. If the children does not get what they want by doing hard work it will be depressing and sad because, this is what they are taught from childhood. The children's faith would be shattered by not acheiving what they want aven after doing hard work.

In conclusion, the advantage of teaching this message to children is that they will be prepared to do hard work but the disadvantage is that they could be disappointed and sad if they do not get what they want after doing hard work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of teaching children that they can achieve anything with hard work. A clear position is established from the introduction and maintained throughout the essay. The advantages are identified, such as instilling a strong work ethic from a young age, while the disadvantages include the role of luck and the potential for emotional distress or shattered faith if goals are not met. However, the ideas tend to be somewhat repetitive, particularly regarding the discussion of hard work versus luck. The arguments are relevant and supported, but they lack the full elaboration and depth required for a higher band. Overall, the task is adequately addressed in line with the requirements of Band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from introduction to body paragraphs and conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and disadvantages. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'One of the advantage', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion', though some referencing and transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. For example, phrases like 'this message' and 'hard work' are frequently repeated across sentences to maintain links, rather than employing a wider variety of pronoun referencing and substitution. Nevertheless, the progression of ideas is easy to follow, making this performance fit comfortably into Band 6.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully communicating key concepts about effort, success, and disappointment. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, such as 'disdvantages' instead of disadvantages, 'advantage' instead of advantages in plural contexts ('One of the advantage'), and spelling mistakes like 'acheive' and 'aven'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with mixed success, and collocation is occasionally awkward, such as 'Smart work is the other way to hard work'. While these lexical shortcomings do not completely impede communication, they restrict the score to Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over grammar with complex structures such as 'if someone works smartly but not harder than someone else than most probably, the one who works smartly will get what he or she wants.' However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation slips throughout the response, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'This situation create' and 'If the children does not get', as well as incorrect article usage and comma splices. These frequent errors cause occasional difficulty for the reader, although meaning is generally retrievable, which aligns with the descriptors for Band 5.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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