Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In this era, children are often said that they can obtain anything if they attempt hard sufficent. This essay will discuss the advantage and disadvantge of childeren get aspirations anything for their life as well as I will provide a logical conclusion.
Nowadays, children are intelligent and they learn smartly at school. Some children experience numerous things for their personal life. For example, a children like a football player. He wants to be a footballer because he feels her future goal. Following this, he is pursuing a legendary play such as Messi. Presently, Messi is a legedary player and children like to him likewise Messi's dribbling, skills, and strenghts. Additonally, children follow his strengths and midset. That is the thing children experice their perosnal life. Moreover, children feel that they would achieve anything for their life. It is a benefical side for every juveniles. It is a paramount advantageous for every children.
On the other, children are frequenlty experience that they will get anything for their entire life. However, it has a drawback when even some children are condsider that they want a bike stunt. These sorts of goals are reduces for their future. When children are younger, they like to crazy things. Furthermore, they want to risk work hardly as i said before they want to practice a bike. It faces some harmful situations for their children life such as accidets.
In conclusion, There are children like to ambigious for their personal life. If they acquire a goal while they would be readily get it.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by attempting to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. However, the ideas are heavily underdeveloped and difficult to follow. For instance, the discussion on the advantage focuses on a specific, convoluted example about a child wanting to be a football player like Messi, but it lacks clear general analysis. Similarly, the disadvantage section mentions a bike stunt example ('condsider that they want a bike stunt'), which is somewhat tangential and poorly explained. While the writer attempts to cover all parts of the task, the lack of fully extended ideas and clear positioning places this response firmly at Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, which shows some basic organisation, but there is no clear overall progression or logical sequencing of ideas. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'Following this, he is pursuing a legendary play' and 'On the other, children are frequenlty experience'. Paragraph transitions are weak, and referencing is frequently unclear (e.g., pronouns like 'he' or 'they' shift confusingly between the child and Messi). The conclusion is extremely brief and fails to effectively summarise the main points. These issues indicate a performance aligned with Band 4 in terms of cohesion and logical flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary range is quite basic and repetitive. The student uses numerous non-standard phrases and incorrect word forms, such as 'attempt hard sufficent' instead of 'try hard enough', 'childeren get aspirations', 'legedary player', and 'ambigious' when they likely meant ambitious. Spelling and word choice errors are pervasive ('Additonally', 'experice', 'perosnal', 'benefical', 'frequenlty', 'condsider', 'accidets'). While the central topic is partially communicated, the frequent lexical inaccuracies and strain on the reader prevent the score from rising above a Band 4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that are almost uniformly faulty. Examples of persistent errors include 'children are often said that they can obtain anything', 'children like to him likewise Messi', and 'These sorts of goals are reduces for their future.' Punctuation and verb tense consistency are poorly controlled throughout the text. Because errors occur in nearly every sentence and frequently distort the intended meaning, the grammar warrants a Band 4 descriptor.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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