Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Teaching and educating children is the responsibilty of every parents. Therefore, in some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything they wish for only if they try harder. There are advantages and disadvantges of giving children this advice. Personally, in my opinion, there are more benefits of telling them to work hard to accomplish their goals. In the subsequent paragraphs, I will further discuss the effects it has on childern.

In this developing world, everything is so fast that it's hard to patch up with the world. For example, everyone is in competition with each other whether its the workplace or the students. They are giving their best to have a bright future ahead them. For this reason, it is neccessary to give their all.

Parents are telling their children to try harder because they have faced harsh reality and have seen the outcome of lazy people. Ultimately, it also gives you sense of satisfaction and prevent guilt from happening that you did not gave your best in certain thing.

On the other hand, there are some disadvantges of this. In many households, parents are obsessive with their children to try harder they can even if the limit of their capacity reaches. Their child are always in depression and anxiety. Due to the pressure of continous working hours and restless nights they become sick and still the parents won't stop. They keep saying and comparing them with other children that unfortunately disturb their mental health. Instead of feeling motivated they think that whatsoever they are going to do this is just never enough.

To sum up the entire discussion, advising childern to try hard enough is practically an advantageous approach because it will help them achieve anything they want. This habit will definitely improve their lifestyle.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear personal position is presented in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion. Ideas are relevant, such as increased motivation and competitiveness on the positive side, and anxiety and parental pressure on the negative side. However, some arguments remain somewhat under-developed and general. For instance, the point regarding harsh realities and lazy people could have been extended with more precise explanation. Overall, the task is adequately fulfilled, and the position is maintained throughout the essay, earning a solid Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of ideas. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages respectively, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'For example', 'On the other hand', and 'To sum up the entire discussion'. However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally faulty or mechanical, as seen in awkward transitional phrasing like 'In the subsequent paragraphs, I will further discuss the effects it has on childern.' Paragraph internal cohesion could also be smoother. Therefore, the response meets the criteria for Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'accomplish their goals', 'competitiveness', and 'mental health'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, including 'responsibilty', 'disadvantges', 'childern', 'patch up with', 'neccessary', and 'continous'. Collocations are sometimes unnatural, such as 'the limit of their capacity reaches'. While these errors do not seriously impede communication, they restrict the lexical score to a Band 5.5, as the vocabulary control falls short of the consistent accuracy required for Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over structure. Examples of complex structures include conditional and relative clauses, such as 'Instead of feeling motivated they think that whatsoever they are going to do this is just never enough.' However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation slips, including subject-verb agreement issues ('Their child are always in depression'), missing articles ('in certain thing'), and awkward phrasing ('whether its the workplace or the students'). These errors occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader, placing the response firmly at Band 5.5.

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