Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There is no denying the fact that some cultures think that children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. This statement was concern not only in developed countries but also in developing nations. This essay will explores relevant benefits and provide intangible instance.

To begin with, the predominat fact is that the children are so impish these days, and they do mischieves activities. They also deny their older orders which can prevent circumstances to their life. They are also not concerned about their studies. Moreover, If they want to achieve anything in their they need to be more concentrated in their studies and try hard enough obtain their goals rather than breaking hope in their failure.

Furthermore, the prudent fact is that the cultures are more concern about children future, and they also believe that children can achieve their goal if they try hard enough. If they not concentrate in their goal, they will never achieve their aim. However, trying hard can also be benefical in other ways such as it also improve their iq and thoughts which plays a vital role in their journey to their career target, while they will face many challenges which help them to build their confidence.

Laconically, it is vivid that individuals are worried about children future, and they are motivating them that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. Moreover, it can also improve their mindset or providing hope to overcome their obstacles through their struggling period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times confusing. For instance, the discussion in the second paragraph mentions that children are 'impish' and do 'mischieves activities', which lacks clear relevance to the core theme of ambition and hard work. The essay attempts to discuss both benefits (such as improving IQ, building confidence, and providing hope) and implies some challenges, but the overall position is obscured by weak articulation and tangential points. Consequently, the task is addressed only partially, placing this response at Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, which is a positive structural feature. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt shifts in topic. Devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'Laconically' are used, but their mechanical application does not always establish a clear semantic link between sentences. For example, the transition from discussing children's misbehaviour to concentrating on studies lacks smooth cohesive ties. Additionally, referencing is occasionally confusing, such as pronoun use in 'If they not concentrate in their goal'. This organisation corresponds to a Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and contains noticeable errors that occasionally impede understanding. The student attempts some less common items, such as 'predominat', 'mischieves', and 'intangible instance', but these are plagued by spelling and word-form errors (e.g., 'mischieves activities' instead of mischievous behaviour, 'breaking hope' instead of losing hope, 'benefical'). The range is minimally adequate for expressing basic thoughts, but frequent inaccuracies in word choice and collocation prevent the score from reaching a higher band, aligning best with Band 4.5, rounded to 5.0 based on positive profiling of communicative attempts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as conditional clauses ('If they want to achieve anything...'). However, frequent grammatical errors occur throughout the text, including tense issues ('This essay will explores'), subject-verb agreement errors ('cultures are more concern'), missing auxiliary verbs ('If they not concentrate'), and preposition misuse. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and demonstrate weak control over complex structures. This level of accuracy and range fits the Band 5.0 descriptors.

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