Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Cultures are very important role in our societies. In some traditions, children are mostly told that they can achieve whatever if they effort hard enough. I agree with this satement and I will explain in detail.

To initiate, There are several advantages of that Children learn the new activities from the society. They notice the all action and then follow this work. They learn the different languages from the parents in big families and very much clever. They watch the many movies such as fashion and aesthetic as well as it is a better for children development. Parents are the main hero for children in any cultures. They seek the any activities like good or bad

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 250 words, containing only 116 words. Because of this severe under-length, the discussion of the prompt is severely curtailed. While the writer touches on the general topic of children and society, they fail to adequately explore both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. The position is stated rather than developed, and the ideas presented in the body paragraph wander into tangents about movies and fashion rather than directly addressing the prompt. According to the task achievement descriptors, this falls into Band 4 due to the minimal and underdeveloped response to the task prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text demonstrates very basic organisational structures. Paragraphing is attempted, with a brief introductory paragraph followed by a body paragraph, but the transitions between sentences are weak. Discourse markers are limited to phrases like 'To initiate,' which is unnatural and inaccurate in this context. The progression of ideas is frequently disrupted by sudden shifts in topic, moving abruptly from societal learning to languages, families, movies, and fashion without clear logical links. Referencing is also unclear throughout the text. Overall, the arrangement lacks coherent flow, aligning with the Band 4 descriptors for coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and frequently unnatural. Examples include phrases like 'effort hard enough' instead of 'try hard enough' and 'main hero' instead of 'role models.' There are noticeable word choice errors and awkward collocations that strain the reader's comprehension, such as 'very much clever' and 'aesthetic as well as it is a better for children development.' The range of vocabulary is limited and insufficient to discuss the topic with precision, fitting the Band 4 descriptor where basic vocabulary and errors impede smooth reading.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentences, but grammatical control is very poor. Frequent errors occur in basic syntax, verb forms, and articles, such as 'Cultures are very important role' and 'They notice the all action.' Sentence structures are often broken or ungrammatical, as seen in 'Parents are the main hero for children in any cultures.' Punctuation and capitalization are also inconsistent. Because errors are frequent and often distort meaning, the grammar aligns with the Band 4 descriptor.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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