Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadays, in some cultures, children are often say that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.
On the one hand, there are several advantages of children can achieve anything if they try hard. This is becaues in this modern era some cultures childrens mind blowing and creative. they are confidence ourselfs. Nowadays children thought we should try new and hard things such as built new house with toys. they work hard video games and other various hard activities. For instance, when children try hard things with confidence they must achieve your goals. Some kids made little airoplane, new car and some electric things with material which provide their home. As a result, these activities increase knowledege of children about different things. Children learn new things from techonology becaues it makes our lives easier. Everything available on internet. It is very helpful for children they can help made hard things there.When children do these hard activities it makes crfeative mind and they feel mentaly relaxed.
On the other hand, there are several disadvantages of children can achieve anything if they try hard. This is becaue when kids play these activities somethime they feel borden own their mind. Some childrens cannot attempt hard activities they think negative why i cannot do it. they upset. For example, when childrens try hard things they wast much time there. they cannot realise it and they cannot pay proper attention their school work.
In conclusion. although childrens are told they can achieve anything if they try hard has some drawbacks. I believe that its advantages outweight the disadvantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A position is discernible, but the development of ideas is limited and sometimes unclear. For instance, the student mentions that children's minds are 'mind blowing and creative' and gives examples like building houses with toys or making toy aeroplanes, but these points are under-developed and drift into vague discussions about technology and the internet rather than focusing on the psychological impact of the message itself. The disadvantages section touches upon children feeling a burden and wasting time, but these ideas lack full extension and suffer from generalisation. Overall, the task is addressed only partially, aligning closely with Band 5 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into logical paragraphs with basic introductory and concluding frameworks. However, the overall progression is frequently disrupted by abrupt transitions and disjointed sentences. Cohesive devices are used minimally and sometimes inaccurately, such as the repetitive use of 'This is becaue' and 'For example' which fail to build a smooth argument. Referencing is also weak, with pronouns like 'they' and 'it' often creating ambiguity regarding what noun they refer to. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within the body paragraphs is faulty, placing the essay at a Band 5 level.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary range is limited and repetitive, with frequent spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Examples of errors include 'becaues', 'childrens' (used repeatedly as a plural noun form), 'airoplane', 'knowledege', 'techonology', 'crfeative', 'mentaly', 'borden', and 'wast'. While the student attempts some less common words like 'mind blowing', 'creative', and 'relaxed', the high frequency of basic lexical and spelling errors means the vocabulary control corresponds to a Band 4.5, rounded to Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text consists largely of simple and faulty complex sentence structures. There are persistent errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and missing auxiliary verbs, such as 'children are often say', 'children can achieve anything if they try hard', and 'why i cannot do it'. Punctuation is also problematic, including lowercase sentence beginnings and run-on sentences. Because complex structures are frequently inaccurate and errors cause some difficulty for the reader, this performance fits the Band 5 descriptor.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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