Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In some traditions, most younger children are told that they could be achieve targets if they work hard. In my personal opinion, childrens must be achieve but it depend on the type of aim and us.

Firstly, in my opinion, many traditions and cultures are good for us like eid and punjabi culture. On punjabi culture, many people's like to wair the traditional dress. For example, salwar and kurta with a strong stick. Thay also enjoy this culture with punjabi songs. Moreover, some tradions like the basant that are recently celebrate in my country. Many young generations learn lot of informations from the cultures and traditions. Some children also told us to achieve their aim releted to this. For example, punjabi culture are just celebrate in punjab instead of cities. So, children want to introduce this culture all over the country then thay work day and night to full-fill their aim. Hence its a big advantage that every people can celebrate this culture with us and distribute their happiness. So it's a good achievement. Moreover, from my prospactive basand is not a good culture beacuse it can causes many injuries.

Secondly, it also have many disadvantages. For example, every different cities have their own cuture. Like Sindh, Punjab, Balochistan and some other cities have their own tradition and culture. If we misguid our children then thay work on wrong aim it also causes wasting of time and depression. Moreover, basand also causes many injuries. If children want to introduce this tradition all over the country. Then it causes many disadvantages like some poor children waste mony on this traditions and it effect on poor economy. So, children must be achieve and struggle hard if we tell them a right apath, It completely depend on our gaidlines.

To conclude, young generation have fresh mind and thay are able to do every this but their path is in our hand if we tell them right destinition thay must be achieved. And it's also control disadvantages on our single messege.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response addresses the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work, but the ideas quickly diverge into a discussion of cultural traditions like Punjabi culture and Basant. While the student attempts to link cultural preservation and the potential risks of misguided efforts to the prompt, the connection is weak and convoluted. The position is somewhat unclear due to erratic shifts in topic from ambition to regional festivals and injuries. Ideas are presented but remain underdeveloped and lack clear, logical support related strictly to the core question of children's ambition. This performance aligns with Band 4 descriptors, where the response tackles the topic tangentially and ideas are insufficiently developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the overall organization and logical progression are severely compromised. Although basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'Moreover,' and 'To conclude' are used, they fail to connect ideas smoothly due to severe shifts in topic. Referencing is frequently unclear, particularly with pronouns like 'they' and 'this,' making it difficult to follow which concept the student is referring to. For instance, jumping from children achieving goals to discussing traditional dresses and kite-flying festivals disrupts the logical flow entirely. This corresponds to Band 4, where information and ideas are not arranged coherently, and progression is lacking.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily restricted. The student frequently misuses words and collocations, such as 'wair the traditional dress,' 'releted,' 'prospactive,' and 'gaidelines.' Spelling errors are common throughout the text, including 'childrens,' 'tradions,' 'celebrate' (used where 'celebrated' is needed), 'mony,' and 'destinition.' There is an inability to use less common lexical items accurately, and the vocabulary choice often strains the reader's understanding, which fits the Band 4 criteria where basic and repetitive vocabulary results in errors that strain communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text contains frequent, pervasive errors in basic grammar, tense agreement, and sentence structure, such as 'childrens must be achieve,' 'basand is not a good culture beacuse it can causes,' and 'every different cities have.' Simple sentence forms dominate, and attempts at complex structures are almost invariably faulty. Punctuation and word form errors are persistent, significantly impacting readability. This performance aligns with the Band 4 descriptors, indicating a very limited range of structures with frequent errors that distort meaning.

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