Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many regions of the world, children can attain their goals if they work hard in their lives or feels motivated from their parents. Although some people might consider this it negative, I believe it to be extremely beneficial. Not only because they can become confident and persistent, but also because it can help them to improve their academic performance.

There are multiple benefits associated with encouraging youngsters. Firstly, they become confident and believe in themselves. As they feel supported and they are capable of achieving their goals as well. Take an example of Emma Watson, a leading Hollywood star once stated that her confidence comes from their parents support because they inspired by her work in a remarkable way. Hence, this is indeed a positive development in this regard.

Secondly, promising children helps to stay persistent and they continue working even when they face alot of challenges in their lives. As they learnt that failure is the part of achieving success. For instance in North America, after visiting many institutes, Education Minister revealed in a conference that 80% students stay persistent because they are unafraid of being failures. Thus, this is a worthwhile change in youngsters.

Finally, it would help them to improve their academic history. As they become more interested in learning and studing after reassuring guardians.

To sum up, I believe that to motivate their children is a positive development indeed. Not only because they can improve their academic performace in a great way and become resilient, but also because it would be the reason of their apparent confidence respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. You maintain a clear position throughout, stating that you believe this message is extremely beneficial. The ideas are relevant, though they are somewhat limited and under-developed. For example, while you mention confidence and persistence, the discussion relies heavily on generalisations and weak supporting evidence, such as the unverified example of Emma Watson and the vague statistical reference to an Education Minister in North America. Furthermore, you briefly touch upon disadvantages in the introduction by acknowledging that 'some people might consider this it negative,' but you never actually elaborate on what those disadvantages might be in the body paragraphs. To reach a higher band score, you need to explore both sides of the argument more thoroughly with fully developed, concrete examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

There is a logical overall arrangement, and the response is divided into paragraphs, showing a clear attempt to structure an essay. You use basic cohesive devices to signal progression, such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'Finally,' and 'To sum up.' However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, sentences like 'Not only because they can become confident and persistent, but also because it can help them to improve their academic performance' are fragment sentences that disrupt the flow. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in phrases like 'because they inspired by her work' where the pronoun reference is ambiguous. Paragraphing is present, but the body paragraphs are quite brief and lack sophisticated internal transitions to link sentences smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your main points clearly. You attempt some less common lexical items, such as 'resilient,' 'persistent,' and 'remarkable,' but there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, for example, 'feels motivated from their parents' instead of 'by', 'promising children' instead of 'encouraging children', and 'studing' which contains a spelling error. Furthermore, phrases like 'improve their academic history' are unnatural in this context. While the range is sufficient to convey meaning, the presence of frequent lexical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing prevents the response from achieving a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and introductory dependent clauses. However, your writing contains frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, you write 'children can attain their goals if they work hard in their lives or feels motivated' which contains a subject-verb agreement error. There are also several sentence fragments, such as starting a sentence with 'Not only because they can become...' without an independent main clause. Other errors include 'alot' (which should be two words), 'failure is the part of achieving success' (unnecessary article), and '80% students' (missing 'of'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur regularly and demonstrate inconsistent control over complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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