Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many regions of the world, children can attain their goals if they work hard in their lives or feel motivated from their parents. Although some people might consider it negative, I believe it to be extremely beneficial. Not only because they can become confident and persistent, but also because it can help them to improve their academic performance.

There are multiple benefits associated with encouraging youngsters. Firstly, they become confident and believe in themselves. They feel supported and they are capable of achieving their goals as well. Take an example of Emma Watson, a leading Hollywood star who stated that her confidence comes from her parents support because they inspired by her work in a remarkable way. Hence, this is indeed a positive development in this regard.

Secondly, promising children helps them stay persistent and they continue working even when they face a lot of challenges in their lives. As they learn that failure is part of achieving success. For instance in North America, after visiting many institutes, Education Minister revealed in a conference that 80% of students stay persistent because they are unafraid of being failures. Thus, this is a worthwhile change in youngsters.

Finally, it would help them to improve their academic performance. As they become more interested in learning and studying after reassuring guardians.

To sum up, I believe that to motivate their children is a positive development indeed. Not only because they can improve their academic performance in a great way and become resilient, but also because it would be the reason of their apparent confidence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the belief that children can achieve anything through hard work, focusing primarily on the advantages while only implicitly acknowledging the potential negative aspects mentioned in the introduction. The position is clear, stating that the message is beneficial, and supported by arguments related to confidence, persistence, and academic performance. However, the task instruction explicitly asks for both advantages and disadvantages, and the student's exploration of disadvantages is extremely limited, restricted to a passing mention in the first paragraph. Consequently, the ideas are not fully balanced, leading to an under-development of the counter-argument side of the prompt. While the main ideas presented are relevant and supported with examples, the omission of a thorough discussion of disadvantages prevents the essay from fully addressing all parts of the task in a balanced way, aligning best with a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion. Paragraphing is utilised, with body paragraphs generally dedicated to distinct points such as confidence, persistence, and academic performance. However, logical progression is occasionally hindered by abrupt transitions and a lack of fully developed supporting sentences. For example, the final point regarding academic performance consists of only two short sentences without adequate expansion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Finally,' but some referencing is mechanical or awkward, as seen with 'Take an example of Emma Watson' and 'after reassuring guardians.' Paragraph structures lack overall cohesion in places, meaning the progression is not entirely smooth throughout. This performance fits the Band 6.0 descriptor, where information and ideas are generally coherent, but cohesion can be faulty.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'persistent', 'resilient', and 'remarkable'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and phrasing throughout the text. For instance, the phrase 'promising children' is used where 'encouraging children' or 'praising children' would be more natural. Similarly, 'reassuring guardians' is imprecise, and 'the reason of their apparent confidence' should be 'the cause of their apparent confidence'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but lexical control is inconsistent, and errors in word formation occasionally occur, such as 'unafraid of being failures' instead of 'unafraid of failure'. These errors do not impede overall communication, but they restrict the lexical score to a Band 6.0, as the vocabulary is adequate yet contains recurring inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some attempt at varied structures through subordinate clauses and participle phrases, such as 'Although some people might consider it negative, I believe it to be extremely beneficial.' However, there are frequent grammatical errors and poor sentence fragments that disrupt the flow. For example, 'As they learn that failure is part of achieving success' is a dependent clause punctuated as a complete sentence. Additionally, 'parents support' lacks the necessary apostrophe, and 'to motivate their children is a positive development indeed' contains a slightly awkward infinitive subject construction. While simple sentences are generally accurate, complex structures often contain errors or awkward phrasing. Because errors are frequent enough to occasionally cause the reader hesitation, though they do not completely impede communication, a Band 6.0 is appropriate.

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