Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Strengthening children's mind at a young age, from my perspective is a excellent way to prepare them for their future.This could make them believe in themself even more and work hard on their dream. Although, this could also be a wrong idea considering the fact that not every thing is achievable as some often require your luck too.

To begin with, motivating children from young age telling them that they can achieve anything in their life if they try hard enough is quite often seen in some cultures which often results to be positive affirmation. At an young age it helps children to work hard for their dream and give more motivation to work even harder. This results to be a great idea and a lot of children have proved this by achieving their goal and making their parents proud who motivated and helped them on the way or their path to their future.

However, this could also have some drawbacks as well because you are not always guaranteed of getting a positive result even after working hard for decades. Often your luck concedes your hardwork and talent and you can get failure too. Along with that if a children who is told that they can achieve anything in their life if they try hard enough don't get the result he/she wanted then this could be a bad example for them that it is not always true.

In conclusion, giving children the advise that after working really hard they can achieve anything is a great idea and gives positive result most of the time, it is not guaranteed so it could also have disadvantages/drawbacks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear position is established in the introduction and maintained throughout the essay. The advantages are discussed in terms of positive affirmation and motivation, while the drawbacks focus on potential disillusionment when hard work does not guarantee success and luck plays a factor. However, the ideas are somewhat repetitive and lack deeper elaboration or specific examples. For instance, the discussion on luck and failure in the third paragraph remains quite general. Because all parts of the prompt are addressed with a clear position, but the development is somewhat limited and repetitive, this performance aligns well with Band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is divided into a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, demonstrating an overall logical arrangement. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'However', and 'In conclusion' are used to signal the progression of ideas. However, referencing and transitions are at times mechanical or slightly faulty, such as 'Along with that if a children who is told...', which disrupts the flow. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points, but within paragraphs, the progression could be smoother. Overall, the organizational structure meets the criteria for Band 6 due to mechanical cohesion and occasional referencing issues.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the student to communicate their ideas about motivation and success. There are several attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'positive affirmation', 'drawbacks', and 'disillusionment' (though the latter is absent, phrases like 'concedes your hardwork' show attempts at complex phrasing). However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'Strengthening children's mind', 'At an young age', and 'luck concedes your hardwork'. Spelling and word formation errors also appear, including 'themself' and 'advise' (used as a noun instead of 'advice'). These inaccuracies place the vocabulary firmly in the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range, warranting a Band 6.0 for adequate range despite flaws.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional structures such as 'if they try hard enough' and 'if a children who is told... don't get the result'. However, there is a lack of control over grammatical accuracy in complex structures. Frequent errors are present, including subject-verb agreement issues ('if a children... don't get'), article omissions ('at an young age'), and pronoun errors ('believe in themself'). Punctuation is generally functional, but run-on structures and missing commas occasionally strain comprehension. Because simple sentences are generally accurate while complex structures contain frequent errors, this fits the Band 5.0 descriptors.

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