Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The culture play a vital role in building children mind set and grooming, it shape the generetions and decides the future, thats why it needs a clear attention because what is applied in culture seen in future. Therefore, before delivering any message to the children, it is necessary to think about the effect it will have on them. The try-hard concept can be healthy if it is used smartly; however, it can sometimes be the reason for failure.

In my opinion, children should be guided to work smart, along with hard work; it will save their energy and time in addition to helping them achieve their goals. In today's fast-growing technological world, only those who know how to work can achieve their aims. Children should be trained and told that trying hard means staying consistent, not losing hope, and trying to respond smartly, this way, hard work can help them achieve everything in their lives.

The concept of trying hard can also result in serious health problems ,for example in a culture child is told to work hard only, while ignoring the importance of health, now he word hard enough to achieve his goal however, during this he compromised his health. He is now facing severe health problems and cannot even continue to work for his aim. This is the main advantage in my opinion will show if the concept reamined the same.

We must structure our culture so that we will have a succesful and healty genration ahead in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. The student presents a clear position that while the concept can be beneficial, it requires a smart approach to avoid negative outcomes. Ideas are generally relevant, but the development is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the discussion around health issues is introduced effectively with 'now he word hard enough to achieve his goal however, during this he compromised his health,' but this point lacks full extension. The conclusion briefly touches upon the future of the generation. Overall, the response meets the criteria for Band 6 because it addresses all parts of the task with relevant ideas, though some parts are slightly under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical progression is occasionally hindered by faulty cohesion and punctuation issues. For instance, sentences like 'The culture play a vital role in building children mind set and grooming, it shape the generetions and decides the future, thats why it needs a clear attention...' contain comma splices and run-on structures that make the flow mechanical. Paragraphing is attempted, but the body paragraphs lack clear internal signposting and logical links between sentences. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'This is the main advantage in my opinion will show if the concept reamined the same,' where the exact referent is ambiguous. This places the response firmly at Band 5.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting some less common phrases such as 'fast-growing technological world' and 'staying consistent.' However, there are numerous spelling and word-choice errors that detract from the writing, including 'generetions,' 'mind set,' 'reamined,' and 'word hard.' Collocations are occasionally awkward, such as 'giving children this message' being handled with varied success. While these errors do not severely impede overall communication, their frequency prevents the piece from reaching a higher band. The lexical resource is characteristic of Band 5, featuring a minimally adequate range with noticeable errors in spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as conditional and relative clauses. However, grammatical accuracy is weak throughout the text. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement ('The culture play'), tense consistency ('now he word hard'), and punctuation (multiple comma splices and missing apostrophes like 'thats'). While the meaning can generally be deciphered, the high density of errors causes frequent difficulty for the reader. Complex structures are often faulty when attempted. This performance aligns with the Band 5 descriptors, where frequent errors in grammar and punctuation persist and cause noticeable reader strain.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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