Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the present era, children are working very hard to fulfill their dreams. This is a good thing that they focus on their future more rather than on any other things. There has been a growing concern about that from the ancient time or in some cultures, children are getting taught about that if they work hard then they will achieve all things in their life. This essay will discuss both perspectives.

First of all, many schools have change their teaching style. Because with the inventions of modern technology and devices, it can be easy to teach them and solve their doubts. Children are also engaging with this new development and they can learn things very fast, instead of depending on other people. They are gaining the knowledge from books and also from online video tutorials like youtube, which helps them to understand the topics very clearly, especially in the exam time. They can bookmark their notes in digital devices such as smartphones and laptops, instead of using paper notes, so that they do not have to worry about of their stuffs getting stolen. These are the new ways of learning, which can improve their interpersonal skills and also complete their work very fast and achieve their desire outcomes. Moreover, instead of working hard they just have to do smart work to remain sustain in this competitive world.

Although, there are some other scenarios related to these things. In traditional time, our ancestors focused more on doing hard work, due to this their consistency remains toward their work and they always stays motivated. So there parents and grand parents want to apply to this approach to there children and grandChildrens, so that they ever feel to give up in their difficult time, then this thing gives them a strength.

In conclusion, the hard work approach is nice but the smart work can helps them to complete their work very efficiently. And this hard work method is useful, when they feel demotivated in their life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work. However, the development of ideas lacks focus and wanders significantly. In the second paragraph, rather than discussing the prompt's core theme, the student pivots into a discussion about modern technology, online video tutorials, and digital notes. Similarly, the discussion of the advantages and disadvantages in the third paragraph is somewhat superficial and blends traditional concepts with modern devices awkwardly. While a position is stated, the arguments are insufficiently linked to the specific implications of instilling this particular mindset in children, resulting in a band 5 performance for Task Achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay displays some overall organization with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, progression is disrupted by sudden shifts in topic, particularly in the second body paragraph where technology is introduced abruptly without clear relevance to the prompt. Cohesive devices are used, but they are sometimes mechanical or inaccurate, such as using 'Although,' at the beginning of the third paragraph as a sentence opener without a main clause completion. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal logical transitions are weak, making the flow disjointed at times. Referencing is occasionally confusing, leading to a band 5 level of coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for basic communication, but it is repetitive and lacks precision. The student attempts some less common phrases, such as 'competitive world' and 'interpersonal skills,' but these are often accompanied by word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'remain sustain' instead of 'remain sustained' or 'survive,' and 'desire outcomes' instead of 'desired outcomes.' Frequent issues with word forms, such as using 'stuffs' and 'change' instead of 'changed,' restrict the score to a band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but attempts at complex structures frequently contain errors. There are numerous grammatical mistakes throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies, preposition errors ('from the ancient time', 'focused more on'), and subject-verb agreement issues ('there parents and grand parents want'). Punctuation and article usage are also inconsistent. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the grammar score from rising higher than band 5.

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