Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In a society that works hard in a purpose if building a strong successful people in all different side (economy,culture,politics...); it begins with their childhood, when the children heer that they could achieve any thing and they can be what ever they want to be in the futur only by trying hard bside working seriously. This culture or this message has advantages as it has disadvantages.

First, Starting by positive points; this kind of messages makes a child believes in the importance of trying hard and he believes that if he work hard he will absolutely achieve anything he want to achieve.

Beside that i see that is a way to encourage children to dream higher.

Also it create between children the soul of competition, they grow with that sense.

Adding that a child will understand that his seccess is related to his work, if he tried hard he will achieve his goal, if he had not. he will normally Los his goal.

in the aother hand we speak a little aboute negatives points or disadvantages. i see that this message will create a kind of fears inside a child which already has no goals.

finally, in my opinion i see that we should encourage our children by this culture

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response attempts to address both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything, meeting the basic prompt requirements. However, the ideas are under-developed and lack extension. For instance, the discussion of the disadvantages is limited to a single brief sentence mentioning 'fears inside a child,' which is vague and insufficient for a balanced argument. Furthermore, the response suffers from a significant length penalty, containing only 210 words against the mandatory 250-word minimum requirement. Because the length requirement is explicitly not met, the task achievement score is limited accordingly. To reach a higher band, the writer must ensure the word count exceeds 250 words and provide fully elaborated arguments with concrete examples for both sides of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay displays some organizational structure with basic transitional markers like 'First, Starting by positive points' and 'in the aother hand'. However, the paragraphing is extremely poor, with the entire body of advantages lumped into a single run-on paragraph, and the conclusion awkwardly merged or isolated. Cohesive devices are repetitive and sometimes awkward or inaccurate. Progression is difficult to follow because ideas shift abruptly without clear logical scaffolding. Referencing is also problematic, as pronouns like 'it' and 'this' frequently lack clear antecedents, causing confusion for the reader. To improve, the writer needs to separate distinct ideas into well-defined paragraphs and employ a wider, more natural range of cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent word-choice and spelling errors that occasionally impede understanding. Examples of errors include 'heer' instead of 'hear', 'futur' instead of 'future', 'bside' instead of 'besides', 'seccess' instead of 'success', and 'aother' instead of 'other'. The range of vocabulary is limited, relying heavily on elementary words like 'good', 'bad', 'work', and 'try'. There are limited attempts at less common lexical items, but these are marred by inaccurate collocations and spelling mistakes. To achieve a higher band, the student must expand their vocabulary range, learn standard English spelling conventions, and focus on precise word choices suited to an academic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The text demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences joined by basic conjunctions. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to severe structural breakdowns, such as the lengthy introductory sentence: 'In a society that works hard in a purpose if building a strong successful people in all different side...; it begins with their childhood...' Punctuation is used incorrectly throughout, with misplaced semicolons, missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences, and stray punctuation marks. Errors are frequent and often cause difficulty for the reader in parsing the intended meaning. To improve, the writer must focus on basic sentence construction, accurate punctuation, and reducing the frequency of foundational grammatical errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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