Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some societies, it is considered that telling children about getting any thing in their lives is normal enough but they have to try harder for that. Implementing this mindset to children have pros and cons in a a similar way.

On a positive note, making up their mind that they can achieve anything in life if they struggle hard in it creates a sense of motivation in them. Children will become independant and try to focus more on their goals. It creates a sense of reponsibility in them. This manipulation technique will defintely lean them towards the success and brighter future. For example, if a child is bad at reading but when we told him that he can do better and encourage him that he can do anything, he will focus more because he feel motivated and get better in it as the time passes because of this positive mindset.

On the other hand, motivation sometime creates a sense of discouragment to indiviuals because it's not always the matter of hard work. As children tend to ignore the natural factor i.e luck and fate. Similarly, when it creates the feeling of not to cope up with the environment children get dis-hard. For example, if a child loose the race despite of hard work, he consider themselves a total failure and it will effect him psychologically too Because of this he might lose trust on himself and get de-motivated easily.

In conclusion to both, it is considered that making up the neutral mindset of children is beneficial to achieve anything in life and become a successful person It will help children positively and make them not to stick with the success phase always rather consider fate in every field of life. Similarly, this will let the children do whatever they want in a positive manner. So, It would be less stressful for children and help them to overcome in future difficulties.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear position is established in the introduction and maintained throughout the essay. The advantages are illustrated with the example of a child struggling with reading who gains motivation, while the disadvantages are supported by the example of a child who loses a race despite hard work. However, the ideas occasionally suffer from some lack of full development and over-generalisation. For instance, the conclusion introduces a somewhat muddled concept of a 'neutral mindset' that is not fully integrated with the previous arguments. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, fitting the Band 6 descriptor well.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear division into introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate advantages from disadvantages. However, cohesion at the sentence level is sometimes mechanical or faulty. Transitions like 'On a positive note' and 'On the other hand' are functional, but referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the phrase 'when it creates the feeling' where the antecedent is ambiguous. Additionally, the flow is disrupted by punctuation errors and awkward phrasing within sentences, such as in the conclusion where 'In conclusion to both' feels unnatural. Progression is present, but mechanical cohesive devices limit a higher score.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to use less common items such as 'manipulation technique', 'psychologically', and 'over-generalisation' implied through concepts of fate and luck. However, there are numerous inappropriate word choices and lexical errors that detract from precision. Examples include 'independant' (spelling error), 'dis-hard', 'loose' instead of 'lose', and 'effect him' instead of 'affect him'. The phrase 'getting any thing in their lives' is overly simplistic and unidiomatic. While the writer attempts a varied vocabulary, the frequent inaccuracies in word choice and spelling place this response firmly in the Band 5 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing conditional structures like 'if a child is bad at reading but when we told him...'. However, grammatical accuracy is weak throughout the text. There are frequent errors in verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'Implementing this mindset to children have pros and cons' and 'despite of hard work'. Punctuation is also problematic, including lowercase capitalization at the start of sentences following periods and erratic comma usage. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher grammatical score.

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