Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try to hard enough. this mainly advantages is that students believe hard work and they try to use any soucre for their achievement, but there also have some isadvantages is that, should can to find the different between and right and wrong way and mehod,

The main advantages is that children try to use any information and source which help him to achieve their goals and also increase the believe and hard working hobbies in the children characters. This is because if children use any source of information like books, techonology and novels, they can bi see many successful stories and also learn about the hard, it really can help to increase their believe and postive thinking. For example, many success full person and researchers argue that they are become a determined person and explain that this skills is really helpful for their achievements.

The main disadvantages is that, when children believe that they can achieve anything if they try to work hard than children can not find and different right and wrong ways. This is because when children can just foucs on their achievements than mostly children start to use wrong way for reach quickly their achievements. For instance, majority of children who can not find improtant and different between the good and bad method when they just focus on the quickly the method. Therefore, main children involed wrong and bad activity.

In conclusion, there are no doubt, this children is really benefits for their achievements and character grwoth, but if children do not follow the right and good ways, than this hobbie its really dangerous for children life and character.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A position is presented, and the essay is organized into separate body paragraphs tackling each side. However, the development of ideas is limited by frequent lexical and grammatical issues that obscure precise meanings. For instance, the discussion on advantages mentions using 'any source of information like books, technology and novels', but the reasoning remains slightly repetitive and under-developed. Similarly, the disadvantages section attempts to explain how unrealistic expectations might lead children towards unethical shortcuts, but the argumentation is hindered by convoluted phrasing. Overall, the response meets the basic requirements of the task by covering both aspects, but the ideas lack the extension and clarity expected at higher band levels, placing it squarely at Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay is divided into four paragraphs: an introduction, two body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages respectively, and a conclusion. There is a basic organizational structure present. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and mechanical or inaccurate cohesive devices. For instance, phrases like 'this mainly advantages is that' and 'the main disadvantages is that, when children believe... than children can not' demonstrate faulty grammatical linking that impedes smooth reading. Furthermore, referencing is frequently unclear, as seen in pronouns like 'him' referring to plural 'children', or 'this children is really benefits'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is weak and repetitive, resulting in a score of 4.5 based on the descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors that frequently cause difficulty for the reader. The student attempts to use less common words such as 'determined', 'researchers', and 'achievements', but these are often used with incorrect word forms or collocations, such as 'hard working hobbies' instead of 'work ethic', or 'success full person'. There are numerous word-choice errors, including 'soucre' (source), 'isadvantages' (disadvantages), 'mehod' (method), and 'grwoth' (growth). While the meaning can sometimes be pieced together, the lexical limitations and persistent spelling errors mean the response clearly aligns with Band 4.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatically, the response displays a very limited range of structures, and attempts at complex sentences are almost uniformly faulty. There is a high frequency of basic errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and clause structure. Examples include 'students believe hard work and they try to use', 'should can to find the different between', 'children can just foucs on their achievements than mostly children start', and 'majority of children who can not find improtant and different'. Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences and incorrect use of conjunctions like 'than' instead of 'then' or 'that'. Because errors are frequent and constantly strain the reader's understanding, the performance matches the Band 4.0 descriptors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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