Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In few socities, children are teached that they can get whatever they want if they do hardwork. Although there are many drawbacks of this viewpoint because of disappointment, I think benefits of this viewpoint holds more importance.

On the one hand, some masses believe in disagreement of this viewpoint because of disappointment. This is due to fact that, many people discord with the statement of doing hardwork because when children work hard for achieving any desirable thing in their life but in end they fail to get that specific thing due to which they feel disappointed and in future they do not trust the process of doing hardwork. For example, nation like India, mostly students work hard for cracking competitive exams but in last paper get leak and their emotions and trust get broken even they may also deal with meantal health issues. Therefore, sometimes children really do hardwork but they did not get that particular thing for which they have done hardwork and feel sorrow in the end.

On the other hand, I believe in its approval due to getting moral values. To elaborate, by learning the concept of doing hardwork by children, then they would have good etiquettes in the society and can definitely get success one day because hardwork is key to success, also they can set an example for the upcoming generation of there ownself. Another major reason for my agreement is building Grit. To justify, hardwork helps to develop resilience, giving you the mental staminato analyze setbacks, adjust strategies, and bounce back stronger. For instance, people like President A.P.J. Abdul Kalam had have known for their hardwork, ambition, and dedication by which they earn success and respect from the society. Thus, hardwork makes the person able to get succeed in the life.

To conclude, even though some masses believe in the former statement, I agree with its latter viewpoint because of getting moral values and building Grit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. The ideas are generally relevant, but some supporting arguments tend to be a bit repetitive or lack full academic extension. For instance, the discussion on disappointment mentions paper leaks in competitive exams as an example, which is somewhat specific and localised rather than broadly developed. Similarly, the advantages focus heavily on moral values and grit, supported by an example of President A.P.J. Abdul Kalam. While the position is clear and all requirements are met, the depth of development aligns well with Band 6.5 or a solid Band 6 level, where ideas are present and extended, but sometimes under-developed or slightly overly generalised in their execution.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, including an introduction, two body paragraphs representing opposing views, and a conclusion. Logical organisation is present, and cohesive devices are employed, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude'. However, cohesion is at times faulty or mechanical. Phrases like 'To elaborate, by learning the concept of doing hardwork by children, then they would have...' create awkward transitions and repetitive clause structures. Furthermore, referencing is not always clear, and some cohesive markers feel forced or unnatural. The progression of ideas can be traced throughout the text, but the mechanical nature of the linking devices and occasional awkward referencing limit the score to Band 6.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'resilience', 'competitive exams', and 'dedication'. However, there are numerous lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices throughout the text. Examples include 'socities' instead of 'societies', 'teached' instead of 'taught', 'do hardwork' instead of 'work hard', 'masses believe' instead of 'people believe', 'meantal health' instead of 'mental health', and 'staminato' instead of 'stamina to'. While these errors do not completely impede communication because the overall meaning remains clear, the frequency of word-choice and spelling inaccuracies prevents the essay from reaching higher band thresholds. The lexical range is minimally sufficient for a Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some variety in sentence structures. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors in verb forms, tense consistency, and subject-verb agreement. Examples of errors include 'children are teached', 'benefits of this viewpoint holds' (instead of 'hold'), 'this is due to fact that', 'mostly students work hard', and 'had have known' (instead of 'are known' or 'were known'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the high frequency of grammatical errors in complex structures causes noticeable difficulty for the reader and restricts the sentence structures from being truly well-controlled. Consequently, the performance sits comfortably within the Band 5 category for grammar.

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