Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In some societes, children are get lesson that they can get anything by working hard in their life.Along with the many benefits of this mindset like self confidence, there are also revelations such as mental stress.In my opinion we need to maintain the balance of both categories.
We need to teach the children that they can acheive anything their life which helps them in increasing their self confidence.So that they will be ready in future to face any fear or challenges.This lesson teaches them to work hard they will never give up easily after seeing any difficulties in their life.These type of childrens will acheive more gols in their lifes and this will give them leadership qualities which force them to serve their good life.And this children will stood against any type of injustice.
After hard working and getting failure in their life they will get depressed and mentally distrube which affects their whole life and they think this happens only because they didn't work hard.But in reallity for successful life hard working and luck are not much enough.For getting success in life money is also very important factor.If the children not get successful in life he will destroy himselves in future and he thinks that he is a failure and he spend his whole life with guilte that he is a failure.
In conculsion.It is good thing to tell child that word hard and we need to tell him also that failure is also a part of game, if you can't win this time you need to try again.Founder of pakistan told in his speech that " try, try, try again till you succeded " and tell him its not possible to win always.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A position is presented in the introduction, and main body paragraphs explore the positive impacts on confidence alongside the negative psychological consequences of failure. However, some ideas are under-developed or briefly stated, such as the claim that money is also a vital factor, which shifts the argument slightly off-course from the core prompt about effort. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, fitting the criteria for a Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the organisation suffers from poor paragraphing and a lack of smooth progression. The second body paragraph is overly long and crams multiple disparate ideas together. Cohesive devices are often repetitive or mechanical, such as the frequent reliance on 'And this' or 'After hard working'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, for instance, 'These type of childrens will acheive more gols in their lifes and this will give them leadership qualities'. These issues place the response firmly in Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors in word choice and spelling throughout the text, such as 'societes', 'acheive', 'gols', 'lifes', 'distrube', and 'guilte'. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary like 'self confidence' and 'injustice', the frequent inaccuracies and limited range mean that the lexical resource is restricted. Some errors occasionally cause slight strain for the reader, aligning the response with a Band 5.0 descriptor.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
Grammatically, the essay shows an attempt at complex sentence structures, but these are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors in basic grammar, subject-verb agreement, and articles, such as 'children are get lesson', 'After hard working', 'If the children not get successful', and 'word hard'. Punctuation is also problematic, including sentence fragments like 'In conculsion.It is good thing...' and run-on structures. The density of grammatical errors throughout the response restricts the score to a Band 5.0.
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