Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In this contemporary era, many individuals are sometimes said that they can fulfil their dreams if they try their best and always work hard. According to my templament, it is an undenaiable truth because working hard play a vital role in our success.
There are many reasons why i reckon that hard work is the best option to success. First and foremost, By hard working children can beleive on their selve and always ready to work hard. Secondly, hard working motivates children to do impossible to possible when they face a problem in their life. Thirdly, A goal-oriented mindset helps them handle difficult tasks in school and jobs. last but not least, i reckon that working hard in the young age is very crucial for children becauce at that time they can store everything in their mind which then play a vital role in their success even in the future.
On the other hand, i consider that there are also some disadvantages. Firstly, Hard warking in young age may lack their natural and hidden talent. Also children can blame themselves if they fail aven after a lot of hard work. Constant pressure to succeed can rob kids of a relaxed and happy youth. Thus i also think that , in the young children should focus on their natural tallent not work hard because that is the time in which children can enjoy their life without stress.
In the last, i conclude that hard working hard in the young age is the best way to become success in future while this also have few disadvantages , like children can take a lot of pressure if they still fail which can effects their health.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work. The writer takes a clear position, stating that while hard work is vital for success, there are also drawbacks such as potential burnout, loss of natural talent, and negative self-blame upon failure. However, the development of ideas remains somewhat superficial. While the points raised are relevant, they are repetitive and lack robust elaboration or specific examples. Phrases like 'do impossible to possible' and general assertions regarding child development show limited extension of ideas. Therefore, the response aligns best with Band 5, as it addresses the task and presents a position, but the ideas are limited and under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a brief conclusion, showing basic paragraphing. However, progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and a lack of smooth transitions. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and often inaccurately, such as 'Firstly, By hard working children can beleive on their selve' and 'In the last, i conclude'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and logical flow is disrupted by frequent shifts in focus. Although the overall layout attempts a standard essay structure, the inadequate and repetitive use of cohesive markers places this response firmly at Band 5.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples of errors include 'templament', 'undenaiable', 'hard working' used as a noun, 'beleive on their selve', 'avan', and 'tallent'. The range of vocabulary is limited, relying heavily on elementary terms and phrases like 'vital role in our success' and 'relaxed and happy youth'. There are few attempts at less common lexical items, and when attempted, errors in form and collocation are noticeable, such as 'become success'. This vocabulary profile reflects the descriptors for Band 4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar and punctuation is weak. There are frequent errors throughout the text that cause difficulty for the reader, including subject-verb agreement issues ('working hard play a vital role'), prepositional errors ('beleive on their selve'), and incorrect verb forms ('can effects their health'). Punctuation is also misused in places, such as unnecessary commas before conjunctions and spaces before punctuation marks. The range of structures is limited, and attempts at complex clauses invariably result in grammatical faults. This performance corresponds to Band 4.
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