Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Motivation is crucial for children especially for those who struggle to acheive anything. Nowadays, in certain cultures, this motivation is being given to children so they can acheive whatever they want. This has both advantages and disadvantages and will be discussed in further paragraphs.

Firstly, motivation affects the children mentally. Through motivation many children outperform because when a child is struggling with anything. A single word can makes them more confident. For instance, a child who want to acheive something will quit after some tries if not achieved but if someone like parent or teacher says that they can achieve then it helps a lot. Moreover, it makes a child better problem solver, critical thinker and speaker because later in future they know that everything is achievable that become beneficial for them in later future.

Alternatively, it has some disadvantages because if children do not achieve desired outcomes despite struggle and motivation. They lose hope. Giving too much motivation to children makes them used to it which creates severe problems because a children that is used to these things will require motivation on every occassion. More to add, a child who is interested in something else like playing or technology but their parent force to study medical will perform great only if there will be the motivation behind.

In conclusion, motivation has a greater impact but it should be given on occassionally.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The student addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. However, the response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, coming in at 232 words. This under-length impacts the full development of ideas, particularly in the conclusion and body paragraphs. While the position is generally clear, the ideas presented lack sufficient extension and support. For instance, the discussion on the disadvantages touches upon reliance on motivation and mismatched parental expectations, but these points remain underdeveloped. Consequently, the task response is constrained by the length limitation and limited elaboration, aligning with a Band 5.5 performance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay displays a basic organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward transitions and mechanical cohesive devices, such as 'More to add' and 'Firstly'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the second body paragraph awkwardly crams multiple disparate ideas together, including dependency on motivation and parental pressure regarding career choices. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the sentence 'if children do not achieve desired outcomes despite struggle and motivation. They lose hope.' where punctuation fragments the thought. Overall, the coherence and cohesion reflect a Band 5.0 level due to mechanical linking and lack of smooth logical progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for communicating basic ideas, but it is repetitive and limited in range. The student frequently repeats key terms like 'motivation', 'achieve' (often misspelled as 'acheive'), and 'children'. There are noticeable spelling errors throughout the text, including 'acheive' and 'occassion'. While there are attempts to use less common vocabulary items such as 'critical thinker' and 'outperform', the lexical control is hindered by these recurring inaccuracies and simplistic phrasing. The lexical resource is characteristic of a Band 5.0 level, as the range is minimally adequate but restricted by noticeable errors that cause some difficulty for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The student demonstrates a mix of simple and some complex sentence forms, but grammatical control is weak. There are frequent sentence boundary errors and punctuation flaws, such as fragmenting sentences with full stops ('when a child is struggling with anything. A single word can makes them more confident.'). Subject-verb agreement errors are also present, as seen in 'a single word can makes them' and 'a children that is used'. Furthermore, awkward phrasing and structural inaccuracies appear in complex attempts, such as 'only if there will be the motivation behind'. Because errors are frequent and occasionally impede smooth understanding, the grammar score is a Band 5.0.

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