Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many societies, parents and teachers told their children and students when they can achieve any thing in their life you should focus and work hard. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages regarding this view.

The foremost advantage is that children give more attention and time to their study as compare to other activities like playing games and use smart phone because their visions are clear when they work hard they acheive everything. They want to become a good businessman ,engineers, doctors. For instance, some schools conduct the test after month for student evaluation so when they children know about the importance of the test and the goal is acheive good marks in test. They should pay more attention on their study and avoid the different activities. Moreover they value of their time so use wisely in their life.

There are some drawbacks, face sometime pressure, fear of failure , stress and anxiety. Sometimes children work hard and give 100% to acheive something but they can't acheive them so they can't handle this situtation, they feel all thing are finished and come back from their goals because their believe when they struggle they get anything. They not believe on luck. I think parent should provide the full meaning of their sentences and proper guide of their children. when children communicate with the failure they think they don't try work hard its their own fault.

In conclusion, many societies learn this when they work hard they get anything in their lifes. the advantage is giving more attention and time to do their task , clear goals and visions but some have drawbacks like feel more stress, pressure.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A position is presented, and the main ideas are extended, such as increased focus on studies and potential stress or fear of failure. However, the development of ideas lacks depth in places, and some examples, such as the mention of school tests, are somewhat disjointed and under-developed. Phrases like 'they want to become a good businessman, engineers, doctors' show a generalised attempt to support the points, but the reasoning remains slightly superficial. According to the band descriptors, the task is addressed with relevant ideas, but some parts lack full extension and clarity. Therefore, a Band 6.0 is appropriate.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion. Paragraphing is utilised to separate advantages from disadvantages. However, cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical. For example, transitional phrases like 'The foremost advantage is that...' and 'There are some drawbacks...' are used, but referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in sentences like 'sometimes children work hard and give 100% to acheive something but they can't acheive them so they can't handle this situtation'. Logical progression is sometimes hindered by abrupt transitions and run-on sentences. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion lacks smooth referencing and connection of ideas. This aligns well with the Band 5.0 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting words and phrases like 'foremost advantage', 'smart phone', and 'evaluation'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'acheive' instead of achieve, 'situtation' instead of situation, and grammatical mismatches like 'use smart phone' instead of using smartphones. While the lexical resource is minimally adequate to convey the core message, the frequency of spelling errors and awkward collocations such as 'communicate with the failure' limits the score. The vocabulary is generally repetitive and lacks precision, which is characteristic of a Band 5.0 performance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response exhibits a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence forms, but control is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and missing prepositions, such as in 'parents and teachers told their children' instead of tell, and 'when children know about the importance of the test and the goal is acheive good marks'. Punctuation is also problematic, with several run-on sentences and comma splices, for instance, 'Sometimes children work hard and give 100% to acheive something but they can't acheive them so they can't handle this situtation, they feel all thing are finished'. These errors cause occasional difficulty for the reader, placing the grammar firmly at a Band 5.0 level.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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