Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Some people believe that if children work hard they can achieve anything. in this essay we will discuss its advantages and disadvantages.
To begin with, the positive side. the major advantage is that children get motivation through this message because of this they achieve their goals without thinking that it is impossible for them. For instance,if a kid wants to climb stairs for first time and his parents motivate him that he can do it, then the kid will definitely achieve the goal. Furthermore, this motivation gives a boost to their confidence. This increases self-belief, which grooms their personalities. A good case in point is that a child with a lack of confidence cannot deal with problems; he gets distracted from the goal, while children with good confidence have the ability to deal with distractions and achieve his goals. As a result, children can achieve their goals through hard work.
On the other hand, there are many disadvantages. the major one is that this thinking put extreme pressure on children because of this, they can't compete with others. For instance, students who have to appear in PPSC or GAT exams, face great pressure, due to pressure he can't perform well.Hence, he cannot compete
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. However, the task achievement is significantly hindered by two main factors. First, the word count is 203 words, which fails to meet the minimum requirement of 250 words, leading to an automatic penalty. Second, the ideas are relatively under-developed and abruptly cut short, especially in the conclusion of the disadvantages paragraph where the sentence 'Hence, he cannot compete' is incomplete. The examples provided, such as climbing stairs or taking specific local exams like PPSC, are relevant but lack broader expansion. Therefore, the response aligns best with a Band 5 for Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay has a basic organizational structure with an introduction, a body paragraph for advantages, and a partial body paragraph for disadvantages. However, paragraphing and cohesive devices are inconsistently applied. The introduction is extremely brief ('in this essay we will discuss its advantages and disadvantages') and capitalisation is frequently missing at the beginning of sentences, such as 'the major advantage is...'. Cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'On the other hand' are used, but referencing pronouns (e.g., mixing 'they', 'he', and 'a child') can create confusion regarding who is being referred to. Overall, the logical progression is disrupted by the short, fragmented nature of the text, fitting a Band 5 score.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student demonstrates a limited but minimally adequate vocabulary to discuss the topic. Words and phrases like 'motivation', 'confidence', 'distracted', and 'pressure' are used appropriately to convey the intended meaning. However, the vocabulary lacks range, and there is noticeable repetition of key terms such as 'goal', 'children', and 'achieve'. Furthermore, there are lexical limitations and inappropriate collocations, such as 'this thinking put extreme pressure' instead of 'this mindset puts extreme pressure'. Because the vocabulary is basic and repetitive with noticeable limitations, a Band 5 is appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as conditional and relative clauses ('students who have to appear in PPSC or GAT exams, face great pressure'). However, grammatical accuracy is weak throughout the text. There are frequent punctuation and capitalization errors, such as starting sentences with lowercase letters ('in this essay', 'the major advantage'). Run-on sentences and comma splices are common, and the final sentence is incomplete ('Hence, he cannot compete'). Errors frequently cause difficulty for the reader and impede smooth reading, placing this response firmly in the Band 5 category for grammar.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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