Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Its a common beleif that by doing hard work, we can achieve anything. It is often argued that in some cultures, children are educated as they can get anything which they want by doing struggle.This kinds of lessons have both positive and negative impact on the young learners. Life is unpredictable such as many things after doing hard work not achievable that make detrimental effects on the children. On the other hand, youngsters make more progress when they have a sense that only dedicated work can make possible to get their goals.

Although making mind of children to do work hard to get any goal is beneficial, it is sometime become fatal for the well-being of children. Children have a mindset that they get any thing in the life by doing work on it. If somehow, they are not able to achieved this specific goal or thing they became frustated and may be not able to do work hard after this. For example, when students in the schools learned that they can get exceptional marks by doing hard work. But if some situations happened against their wish that may cause damage to their personality, confidence and well-being.

In contrast, by knowing that lesson, hard work can make everything possible has a power to influence children to do work more efficiently. Whenever these children want to get specific thing like any job, destination in the education and any specific goal of life. These people are well known with the fact that, only dedicated work can make possible to fullfill their dreams. For instance, dream job for a young learner like in Pakistan to become a doctor is a dream wich is only get by doing hardwork. Moreover, this fact is learned by children that dedication and hard working make this dream come true. By that children do not become idle and work hard for their goals.

In conclusion, feed this message to new generation that hard work and dedication make everything possible, has advantages and disadvantages as well. Children may become more confident about their success that can become fatal if they fail to get while these approach also necessary to achieve goals in the life. So, the children should teach both views as hard work is necessary to get their goal but may be failures can come.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of teaching children that they can achieve anything through hard work. The position is clear throughout, and relevant ideas are presented, such as the motivational benefits of dedication versus the psychological risks of failure. However, the development of ideas tends to be slightly repetitive, and some supporting points lack depth or clarity, such as the abrupt example involving school marks. Despite these minor limitations, the overall demands of the task are adequately met, aligning closely with the Band 6 descriptor.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, including an introduction, separate body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is frequently faulty or mechanical. Words like 'such as', 'Moreover', and referencing pronouns ('this lesson', 'these people') are sometimes awkward or unclear, which disrupts the natural flow of ideas. For instance, the transition at the beginning of the second paragraph feels abrupt. While the logical progression is generally understandable, the mechanical use of cohesive devices places this response firmly in the Band 6 category.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting less common phrases such as 'detrimental effects', 'unpredictable', and 'well-being'. However, there are numerous word-choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'Its a common beleif', 'doing struggle', 'making mind of children', and 'feed this message'. Spelling errors also occur ('beleif', 'achieved', 'frustated', 'working', 'wich'). Although these errors do not severely impede communication, their frequency prevents the response from reaching a higher band score, making Band 5.0 or 6.0 appropriate. The stronger elements lean toward Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at complex structures such as conditional and relative clauses ('If somehow, they are not able to achieved...'). However, there are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies, missing prepositions, and incorrect verb forms ('are not able to achieved', 'students in the schools learned', 'this approach also necessary'). These errors occasionally cause slight difficulty for the reader, although they do not entirely obscure the intended meaning. This performance is characteristic of Band 5.

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