Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In certain tradition , puplis are frequently advided that they can succed in anything , However , if they try again and again , There are plenty of pros and cons have regarding this quote that will be explain in the upcoming paragraphs along with relevant examples .
To begin with , one of the predominently merit about this advised is that support children to achieve their goals . To elaborate , if pupils do hardwork , be deciplin and try again and again to achieve their goals , even after many failours .therefore , they wil not do same mistake again . As a result , the chances will rose of achieve thier goals . For example , if a student is failing an perticuler exam again and again , so ,at some point the chances will incresed of that student pass that exam .
On the other hand ,one of major demerit regarding this quote is , it can caused failuer in puplis life . To explain , if students try to achieve something in thier life despite failing again and again because of pressure from famliy and society . Conseqencely , students feel streets and deprasion . As a result , they get demotivated and can loss thier confidences . For example , if a student failing in a exam , and trying again and again because of judgement of the society , due to that , that student might get in deprasion .
In conclusion , there are plenty of pros regarding this advised , like that help student to achieve their goals in their life . On the other hand , there are quite few cons such as , trying again and again , can casued children into deprasion .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A position is presented, and relevant main ideas are introduced regarding motivation, goal achievement, and the negative psychological impacts of pressure and failure. However, the development of ideas is limited by repetitive phrasing and over-generalised explanations. For instance, the discussion on advantages simply reiterates trying hard and failing repeatedly without introducing nuanced arguments. While all parts of the task are addressed, the depth of exploration remains restricted. Consequently, the response aligns best with the Band 5 descriptors, where ideas are somewhat limited and under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is organized into four standard paragraphs with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical progression is hindered by frequent mechanical and faulty use of cohesive devices, such as 'To begin with', 'To elaborate', and 'Conseqencely'. Referencing and logical transitions between sentences often feel forced or confusing, as seen in the convoluted sentence structures in the body paragraphs. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal flow of ideas lacks smooth transitions. Repetitive phrasing throughout the text also detracts from overall cohesion. These features reflect the characteristics of Band 5, where information and ideas are evident, but there is no clear overall progression and cohesive devices are frequently inadequate or inaccurate.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The lexical range is extremely limited and heavily constrained by basic vocabulary. There are numerous severe spelling errors throughout the response, such as 'tradition' for traditions, 'puplis' for pupils, 'advided' for advised, 'succed' for succeed, 'failours' for failures, 'perticuler' for particular, 'incresed' for increased, 'streets' for stress, 'deprasion' for depression, and 'casued' for caused. These spelling and word-choice errors cause frequent difficulty for the reader and strain communication. While the student attempts to use less common topics related vocabulary, the execution is highly inaccurate. This performance matches Band 4, where basic vocabulary and spelling errors consistently strain the reader's understanding.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is very limited, relying primarily on simple sentence structures and highly faulty complex attempts. There are frequent and systematic errors in tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. Examples include 'There are plenty of pros and cons have regarding this quote that will be explain', 'support children to achieve', 'if pupils do hardwork, be deciplin', and 'the chances will rose of achieve thier goals'. Punctuation is also heavily flawed, with excessive spaces before commas and periods. These dense, recurring errors frequently distort meaning and impede the reader. The response fits the Band 4 descriptor, where errors are frequent and pervasive across most sentences.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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