Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's modern cultures, it is often thought that children are motivated to do anything that they want in their life by try it with hard work, focus, patience and dedication to achieve their desire objectives. While this messages offer certain advantages in the terms of confidence, independence and leadership, but it also brings notable drawbacks that should be overlooked.

One of the major advantage of telling children to achieve anything by hard work is creation of confidence. This leads when children are given opportunities to do something in their life then directly you give then a very noticeable confident, and they will be achieving their final goal without any worry from other people. Secondly, When you motivate children then obviously they will get more responsibilities which will help them in the aspect of independence. Consequently, children will not depend on their parents and they will doing his work by their own head.

Moreover, despite these benefits, there are also several disadvantages . A significant drawback is depression. To elaborate further, stress and anxiety increase upon kids especially in the case when their physical and mental health is not ready to achieve a particular goal or objectives. Additionally, sometime children are motivating toward their goal but they have not the ability to achieve it. Often this lead to mental pressure and psychological disease in kids mindset. Another major concert, is the risk of their mental health, continuously telling such kinds of lesson to a kids can lead to lose their mental health.

In conclusion, motivating children toward to achieve anything by hard work is numerous advantages such as improved confidence and more independent from other as well as getting more responsibilities. however, it also carries the risk mental health, stress, anxiety, and depression if not treating in a well guident manner. In my point of view guiding kids as well as continuously monitoring their work should be appreciated.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear position is stated in the introduction and maintained throughout the essay. The ideas are relevant, mentioning confidence and independence as benefits, and depression and mental pressure as drawbacks. However, some of the ideas are somewhat repetitive and under-developed, particularly in the body paragraphs where explanations tend to circle back to the same points rather than extending them significantly with specific examples or varied reasoning. Nevertheless, the main requirements of the prompt are adequately met, aligning closely with the Band 6 descriptor profile.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear four-paragraph structure. Paragraphs have identifiable central topics, focusing separately on advantages and disadvantages. Cohesive devices such as 'One of the major advantage', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are employed to guide the reader through the text, though some transitions are somewhat mechanical or awkward (e.g., 'This leads when children are given...'). Referencing is occasionally faulty, leading to confusion in sentence structure, such as 'they will doing his work by their own head'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, but logical progression within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by grammatical awkwardness and repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'dedication', 'independence', and 'psychological disease'. However, there are numerous word choice, collocation, and word formation errors throughout the text, such as 'try it with hard work' instead of 'through hard work', 'this messages' instead of 'these messages', and 'another major concert' instead of 'concern'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but grammatical forms of words are frequently incorrect (e.g., 'should be overlooked' where the context requires the opposite meaning, or 'motivating' instead of 'motivated'). These inaccuracies do not entirely impede communication, but they restrict the score to Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some ambition in sentence structure. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors occurring across all paragraphs. Examples include tense and voice issues ('they will be achieving', 'if not treating'), subject-verb agreement problems ('this messages offer'), and malformed relative or subordinate clauses ('especially in the case when their physical and mental health is not ready'). Punctuation and article use are also inconsistent. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the grammar score from reaching the Band 6 threshold, where error-free sentences should be more dominant.

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