Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Confidence and consistency are the keys to be succeeded in every sector of life. Many teacher as well as parents make their childern to comprehend that they can achieve any thing of their destionation by working hard for that. This thought make their childrens to think and work more effectively and innocatively, hence working too hard never always bring posative results, I will discuss both pros and cons of working harder.

On the other hand , working to hard for a desired thing makes a peroson frustated, moreover when he or she cannot get that thing after working on that proficiency this will results in a form of demotivation. For instace, a student's taking his regular class and then his parents force him to join coaching after school, from overview he is working harder,however when the result cames he has now performed relatively lower than before. To tackle this parents should not give tough time to their childs, their must be sufficient time available for them to relax and unwind from their study frustaion.

On the on hand, working hard for desied goals makes a person more enerjatic and confidence, which leads to better results more often.One more benifit of working hard for career and getting out of our safezoons makes our living as we planned. To acquire the likelihood of our dreams we must left our peace and work hard. For instace, a man who had worked hard can now be more confident besides the person who has not worked on that. Adding more to it, working harder makes the person's thinking more deep and if their any circumstance happpen he may handle the situation more accurately with his deep analysis.

In conclusion, working hard brings many positive outcome if there not happend any inequality. Overall, hardships out weights it's disadvantages. Parents and teachers should make their childern's understanding in rigorous ways that they can differ the things more intrestingly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work. A position is presented, concluding that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and occasionally repetitive. For instance, the discussion on disadvantages mentions frustration and demotivation, supported by a brief example of a student forced into coaching, but the reasoning remains slightly underdeveloped. Similarly, the advantages touch upon energy, confidence, and breaking out of comfort zones, yet these points lack deeper elaboration. While all parts of the task are addressed, the depth of extension places this in the Band 6 category, where relevant ideas are present but under-developed in places.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay has a clear overall arrangement with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing both sides, and a conclusion. However, paragraphing is somewhat problematic and exhibits structural confusion; notably, the third paragraph opens with 'On the on hand', which directly contradicts the traditional 'On the other hand' transition used in the previous paragraph for a contrasting point. Cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or inaccurately used, such as 'adding more to it' and 'if their any circumstance happpen'. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as pronoun shifts ('when he or she ... this will results'). While the progression is generally understandable, the flawed transitions and mechanical cohesion align closely with Band 5 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is a mix of adequate and basic terms, with numerous noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Examples of errors include 'childern' instead of children, 'destionation' instead of destination, 'posative' instead of positive, 'peroson' instead of person, 'enerjatic' instead of energetic, and 'safezoons' instead of comfort zones. While the student attempts less common items like 'innocatively', 'proficiently', and 'rigorous ways', the high frequency of lexical and spelling inaccuracies means the vocabulary control struggles below Band 6, fitting well within the Band 5 level where noticeable errors impact readability.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates an attempt at a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical accuracy is weak throughout. There are frequent errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence boundaries, such as 'working too hard never always bring posative results' and 'there not happend any inequality'. Run-on sentences and comma splices also occur, such as in the opening paragraph ('...working too hard never always bring posative results, I will discuss...'). These frequent structural and mechanical errors cause occasional difficulty for the reader, matching the core descriptors for a Band 5 in grammatical range and accuracy.

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