Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Some cultures are know to traditionally be more supportive and encouraging to chidren from a young age to instill the belief that anyone can be successful provided that they believe in themselves and take effort to achieve their goals. Although this message can make the child dream big and build the confidence required to take action, it can cause unrealistic expectations and disappointment as well.
People often become what they think they can be; therefore, it is important to motivate a child from a young age in order to build their self-confidence. Children with a positive perception of their abilities are more likely to put effort into achieveing their goals and aspire to greater achievements. In contrast, children with low self-worth may understimate their abilities and may end up becoming less ambitious. For instance, children who grow up in environments with supportive parents and teacher tend to perform better academically, even when they receive lower grades, than those who are constantly punished and given little opportunity for improvement. Therefore, making children believe in their potential, can help build the confidence required to be ambitious rather than imposing limitations on themselves.
However, constantly telling children that they can achieve anything with hard work can lead to disppointment. As in reality, many other factors such as natural abilities, health, available opportunities and circumstances beyond the individual's control influence success. Children may blame themselves when they fail to achieve a particular goal, believing that they simply did not work hard enough. This can lead to frustration and undermine their self-confidence rather than strengthening it. The child may start seeking external validation instead of being able to develop an interna regulation mechanism.
In conclusion, encouraging children to believe in their potential can build self-confidence, motivate them to work towards their goals and encourage greater ambition. However, this message should be balanced with the understanding that success is influenced by factors beyond hard work, as unrealistic expectations may ultimately lead to disappointment and frustration.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by examining both the advantages and disadvantages of teaching children that they can achieve anything with hard work. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. Ideas are extended and supported well, such as discussing how self-confidence improves academic performance and how unrealistic expectations can cause disappointment and frustration. The arguments are logical and well-grounded in everyday experience. While a few points could be expanded further, the overall development satisfies the criteria for Band 7, as all requirements of the task are fully met with relevant ideas presented and supported.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay demonstrates clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a clear central topic, starting with an introduction, moving to the advantages in the second paragraph, the disadvantages in the third, and concluding with a concise summary. Cohesive devices are used effectively to connect ideas, such as 'Although this message', 'In contrast', 'For instance', and 'However'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately to separate distinct aspects of the prompt. Although referencing and cohesive devices occasionally lean on standard academic templates, the progression remains clear and easy to follow, placing the essay comfortably in the Band 7 category.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.5
The student uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. Words and phrases like 'self-worth', 'external validation', 'unrealistic expectations', and 'circumstances beyond the individual's control' demonstrate an ability to use less common lexical items with awareness of style and collocation. However, there are a few noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'know' instead of 'known', 'chidren' instead of 'children', 'achieveing' instead of 'achieving', and 'interna regulation' instead of 'internal regulation'. These minor inaccuracies do not impede communication, allowing the response to achieve a solid Band 6.5 or 7.0. Given the general fluency of expression, a Band 7 is appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5
The writer uses a good variety of complex structures alongside simple forms, showing a generally strong command of grammar and punctuation. Examples of successful complex sentences include 'Children with a positive perception of their abilities are more likely to put effort into achieving their goals and aspire to greater achievements.' However, there are persistent slips and errors throughout the text, such as 'Some cultures are know to traditionally be more supportive' (passive voice error), 'take effort' (awkward collocation, should be 'make an effort'), and 'teacher' instead of the plural 'teachers'. Despite these errors, frequent error-free sentences are present, and meaning is never obscured or impeded, meeting the descriptors for Band 7.
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