Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In recent decades, the world has witnessed rapid technological revolutions, innovations and global shifts. These developments illustrate how societies and their individuals function. In this competitive era, some people in several heritage cultures argue that children should be encourage to do anything if they work hard and try again and again.
On the one hand, learners should be taught to take every task or target seriously since their learning era and achieve it until last force in their body. This concept will convey the message of motivation and encouagement amoung all the nation till the last day of judgement and also believed benneficial for entire population of the country. For instance, Saudi Arabia authorities started the scheme iin 2015, in which it is mandatory for every pupil acquire basic military training due to unstable diplomacy in the middle east in order to do self denfence in case of nation level conflicts.
On the other hand, sometimes children get some mentally disturbance issues during again and again forced to do the challenging task by their parents and guardians. In this way, the learners not only become the easy and simple prey of mental illness and fear but also lose their hopes. In china and North Korea, government recommend any specific career to all the children according to the performance of student in institute. These regions apply this strategy to represent their nation in several global recognized ceremonies and events such as olympics, Fifa and etc for outstanding and megfinicent performance.
In conclusion, although told the children that they do anything if they work hard carries certain drawbacks, however the disadvantages of this is more sustainable. Furthermore, the demerits of this outweigh the advanatges.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work. However, the ideas lack clear development and logical connection to the core theme. For example, the advantage paragraph shifts into a discussion of Saudi Arabia and mandatory military training, which is only tangentially related to childhood motivation and the message of limitless potential. Similarly, the disadvantage paragraph introduces mental health concerns but abruptly pivots to government career assignment policies in China and North Korea. While a position is stated, the arguments are frequently convoluted and under-developed, aligning best with a Band 5 descriptor where the task is addressed, but the reasoning is disjointed and lacks depth.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which provides a basic structural framework. However, the progression of ideas is often confusing and lacks overall coherence. Cohesive devices are misused or awkward, such as transitioning from mental health issues directly into government policies in China and North Korea without a clear logical bridge. Furthermore, referencing is frequently unclear, and the concluding paragraph contains contradictory statements ('the disadvantages of this is more sustainable' followed by 'demerits of this outweigh the advantages'). Paragraphing is attempted, but internal logical links are weak, placing this performance firmly in the Band 5 category.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors in word choice and collocation that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'learning era', 'last force in their body', 'mentally disturbance issues', and 'megfinicent performance'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'technological revolutions' and 'competitive era', but frequent inaccuracies in derivation and collocation (e.g., 'encourate', 'benneficial', 'self denfence') demonstrate limited lexical control. The range is minimally adequate to convey a basic narrative, but word errors restrict the score to Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and word formation that make reading difficult at times. Examples include 'children should be encourage', 'although told the children that they do anything', and 'during again and again forced to do the challenging task'. Punctuation is generally functional, but the prevalence of grammatical errors across most complex sentence structures prevents the response from reaching a Band 6. The grammatical control reflects the Band 5 descriptor, where errors frequently occur and can cause difficulty for the reader.
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