Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent decades, the world has witnessed rapid technological revolutions, innovations and global shifts. These developments illustrate how societies and their individuals function. In this competitive era, some people in several heritage cultures argue that children should be encourage to do anything if they work hard and try again and again.
On the one hand, learners should be taught to take every task or target seriously since their learning era and achieve it until last force in their body. This concept will convey the message of motivation and encouragement among the whole nation untill the last day of judgement and is also believed beneficial for the entire population of the country. For instance, Saudi Arabian authorities started the scheme in 2015, in which it is mandatory for every pupil to acquire basic military training due to unstable diplomacy in the Middle East in order to do self-defence in case of nation-level conflicts.
On the other hand, sometimes children get some mental disturbance issues when again and again forced to do the challenging task by their parents and guardians. In this way, the learners not only become easy and simple prey of mental illness and fear but also lose their hopes. In China and North Korea, government recommends any specific career to all the children according to the performance of students in an institute. These regions apply this strategy to represent their nation in several globally recognized ceremonies and events such as Olympics, FIFA, etc for outstanding and magnificent performance.
In conclusion, although being told the children that they can do anything if they work hard carries certain drawbacks; However, the disadvantages of these are more sustainable. Furthermore, the demerits of this outweigh the advantages
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work. However, the development of ideas suffers from a lack of focus and somewhat tangential examples. For instance, the discussion on Saudi Arabian military training and the career allocation policies in China and North Korea do not directly or clearly explain the philosophical core of the prompt—whether telling children they can achieve anything is psychologically beneficial or harmful. The position becomes somewhat confused in the conclusion where the writer states that the disadvantages are 'more sustainable' and outweigh the advantages, but the argumentation leading up to this point is loose. This places the response comfortably in Band 5.5 to 6.0; while all parts are touched upon, the supporting examples lack depth and direct relevance.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay is divided into clear paragraphs, starting with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are attempted, such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', but their application is occasionally mechanical or clumsy, as seen in the concluding sentence where transitional links are overused ('although... However... Furthermore'). The logical progression within paragraphs is sometimes disrupted by abrupt shifts in topic, such as jumping from children being encouraged to work hard straight into state military schemes. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and logical flow suffers from imprecise phrasing. Overall, the structural framework is present and maintains a coherent overall arrangement, fitting the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student attempts a range of vocabulary, including phrases like 'rapid technological revolutions', 'competitive era', and 'mental disturbance issues'. However, there are notable collocation errors and awkward word choices throughout the text, such as 'children should be encourage' (grammatical form error bleeding into lexical choice), 'learning era' instead of 'formative years', and 'until the last day of judgement' which is highly unnatural in this context. The writer also uses repetitive patterns like 'again and again' instead of more sophisticated alternatives like 'persistently' or 'relentlessly'. These inaccuracies restrict the lexical score to Band 5.0, as the vocabulary is minimally adequate for the task but frequent errors in word formation and collocation cause some difficulty for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at varied structures. However, grammatical accuracy is weak. There are frequent errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and word formation, such as 'children should be encourage' (passive voice error), 'mental disturbance issues when again and again forced', and the dangling modifier in the conclusion ('although being told the children that...'). Punctuation and phrasing in the final summary are also flawed. While the reader can generally extract the intended meaning, the density of grammatical slips across most sentences prevents the response from achieving a higher band, placing it at Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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