Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Not in some cultures but nowadays it become quite common in all culture were childern are being told to achieve anything they want if they try hard enough to gain that particular thing. There are various advantages as well as some disadvantages of providing Adolescents with this message.
The one positive side of conveying this message is that the children who are mentally capable or smart enough to score high marks can be really attracted by this thing as it helps young minds to gain some positive energy and motivation. Moreover, when the children came across to this kind of positive message they feel more sense of happiness and helpfulness from their guardian as they support them throughout their way to reach or achive something. For instance:- It is scientifically proven that when a parent support their child to achive something, the chances become quite high that he/she gonna achieve that particular things more accurately and easily.
As the other side of coin or a darker side of this message, as most of the children are really soft hearted and does not capable of accepting their loss,they fell disgarded and heartbroken as they are not be able to achieve something that they really want. Additionally it also affect them mentally as they feel they are not worthy enough to achieve something in futute.
In conclusion, the point of children having helpful hand by their guardian is more important as compare to the risk of failure. So message should be conveyed in such a way that they feel a sense of belongingness as well as they does not feel guilty even though they tend to fail to achieve something.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the task by identifying both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. The student takes a clear position, concluding that parental support outweighs the risk of failure. Ideas are generally relevant, but some points are somewhat under-developed or rely on broad generalisations, such as the claim that soft-hearted children feel discarded without deeper exploration. Examples like 'It is scientifically proven' lack specific detail, placing the response firmly at Band 6.0 for addressing all parts of the prompt with relevant ideas, though development remains limited.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing separating the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. However, cohesion is frequently faulty or mechanical. For instance, the transition phrases 'The one positive side of conveying this message' and 'As the other side of coin or a darker side of this message' are clumsy and unnatural. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the pronoun 'this thing'. Paragraph transitions could be managed more smoothly, aligning the response with Band 5.5 to 6.0 descriptors; a Band 6.0 is awarded for adequate overall progression despite the mechanical cohesive devices.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'motivation', 'scientifically proven', and 'belongingness'. However, there are numerous word choice and collocation errors, such as 'all culture' instead of 'all cultures', 'childern' (spelling error), 'come across to' instead of 'encounter', and 'helpful hand'. Furthermore, repetition of phrases like 'achieve something' limits the lexical range. These inaccuracies prevent the score from reaching Band 6.5, making Band 5.5 a fair reflection of a limited range with noticeable errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over multi-clause structures, such as 'when the children came across to this kind of positive message they feel more sense of happiness'. However, there are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('it become', 'children are ... does not capable'), tense inconsistencies, and missing articles. While communication is not severely impeded, the high frequency of basic and complex sentence errors keeps the response at a Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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