Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In some tradition people believe if thier children work hard they can achive thier goal by working hard . This essay will discuss the advantages and also the drawbacks of hard work.

One major benefit of working hard is that by working hard u can achive ur goal . This is because hard work allow people to improve thier skills, gain experience and remain focused on thier objectives. When someone work hard to achive something he would more likely to overcome difficulties and would make progress.For instance, student work hard to get higher grades for this he study day and night hard to achive his desire grades .Finally after a lot of hard work he get his desire score in examination .

Dspite this benefits, working hard also has some drawbacks. The most significant drawback is that it can impact his physical health. Because, people who spend too much on working my not get enough time to exercise, or sleep properly. As a result, they can become physically tired and may develop health problems over time. For example, students who did not take breaks during there are usually suffer from physical tideness and back pain. As a result they cannot focus on thier studies.

In conclusion, working hard can help people to achieve thier goals and desire score. Excessive working can have negative impact on thier physical and mental health. Therefore, it is important to maintain a balannce between hard work, rest and in maintaining good physical health and diet.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The student addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything through hard work, meeting the prompt requirements. The position is clear from the beginning. However, the ideas are relatively basic and under-developed, relying on repetitive arguments and simple examples, such as the student studying day and night to get higher grades. The response tends to generalise without exploring deeper nuances of psychological impacts or societal expectations. Therefore, this performance fits the Band 5 descriptors where ideas are limited and lack full development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is organised into four paragraphs with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. However, progression is somewhat hindered by repetitive phrasing and simple cohesive devices like 'Finally', 'Dspite this benefits', and 'As a result'. Paragraphing is present, but the logical flow within paragraphs is mechanical. Referencing is occasionally confusing, such as pronoun shifts ('his physical health', 'Because, people...'). These characteristics align well with Band 5, which features some organisation and basic cohesive devices, but lacks smooth overall progression and has instances of inaccurate or repetitive cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical resource is limited and heavily repetitive throughout the response. The student repeatedly relies on phrases like 'working hard', 'achive thier goal', and 'desire score/grades'. There are also frequent spelling errors, such as 'thier' instead of 'their', 'achive' instead of 'achieve', 'Dspite' instead of 'Despite', 'balannce' instead of 'balance', and 'tideness' instead of 'tiredness'. While the meaning can generally be understood, the vocabulary range is restricted and noticeably inaccurate. This matches Band 5, which features a limited but minimally adequate range with noticeable spelling and word choice errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'When someone work hard to achive something he would more likely to overcome difficulties...' However, grammatical control is weak, with frequent errors including subject-verb agreement issues ('someone work', 'student work', 'students who did not take breaks during there are usually suffer'), incorrect prepositions, and punctuation mistakes. Errors frequently cause difficulty for the reader or require re-reading to parse the intended meaning. This performance is characteristic of Band 5, showing a limited range of structures and frequent errors in grammar and mechanics.

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