Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures, some children are told that they are able to achieve their dream if they give significant dedication and hard work toward it. This message can drive a child to be hardworking and relentless person in the future but it can also attribute to mental exhaustion and certain health problems.

Firstly, children can be motivated by their parents or friends advice easily , and i believe it can contribute to their traits and perception about how they see their goals. Moreover altering the thoughts before making an ambitious step. For example, taking advantage of some actions that have failed in the past, and changing attempts for the better outcome. In this way, i believe that it reminds them to work harder and not give up, when things get exhausting at some point.

But on the other hand, our brain and physical body tend to stress unnoticeably from overworking, and it will be harmful when it is not balanced .Blue collar workers for example. Despite the considerable salary, they still chase after more paycheck. Moreover there is a global statistics about half of the population of blue collar workers suffer from severe knee and back pain. Once the human joints start hurting, they are not going to be able to live the regular life, Thus leading to more financial need.

To conclude, We should be more cautious about our wellbeing in terms of mentally and physically. Additionally, consider the drawbacks before occupying any physical related job in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages (motivation, hard work) and disadvantages (mental exhaustion, physical health problems) of telling children they can achieve anything. A position is presented, and main ideas are introduced, but the development is somewhat limited. For example, the advantage section briefly mentions motivation and learning from failure without deep elaboration, while the disadvantage abruptly shifts to blue-collar workers and physical pain without directly tying it back to the childhood message or framing the counter-argument effectively. Overall, the task is addressed, but the ideas require further extension and clearer support to reach a higher band. This corresponds to a Band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay is arranged with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'To conclude', but some transitions feel mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Moreover altering the thoughts before making an ambitious step.' Paragraphing is attempted, though the division of ideas could be more logical; the jump from childhood mindsets to adult blue-collar workers lacks a smooth connective bridge. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'it can contribute to their traits' where the antecedent is vague. Progression is visible, but the structural flow needs refinement to achieve a higher score. This fits a Band 6.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student attempts a range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, including phrases like 'significant dedication and hard work', 'mental exhaustion', and 'ambitious step'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation inaccuracies throughout the text, such as 'attribute to mental exhaustion' (instead of 'contribute' or 'lead to'), 'friends advice' (missing apostrophe and awkward phrasing), and 'chase after more paycheck'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but the lexical slips and minor inaccuracies place this performance firmly in the Band 6 category, as the vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over grammar. Examples include 'In some cultures, some children are told that they are able to achieve their dream...' However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Issues include fragment sentences ('Moreover altering the thoughts...'), capitalization errors ('Blue collar workers for example'), punctuation slips (comma splices before conjunctions), and grammatical awkwardness ('in terms of mentally and physically'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent enough to prevent the essay from reaching Band 7.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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