Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In several societies, pupils are frequently told that they can acquire anything if they try hard enough. In this essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this message.
One major advantage is that this thing motivated pupils to do hard work. For instance, if they are weak in a subject, they focus more and give extra hours. Even if they failed, they do not get upset. Because they believe that hard work give success in future therfore, they do not waste their time.
On the other hand, a major disadvantage is that children believe in only hard work, but some times diligent do not matter. In many scenario luck, intelligence, decipline and telent are play vital role in life. For example, This is not even possible every student became a doctor, engineer and CEO. In addition, to become a doctor, you need hard work as well as money. because college fees are very expensive. For instance, my cousin was a top in higher secondary school and her dream was to become a doctor, but she could not afford the fees.
In conclusion, although this message is also several advantages of hard work and other side also have disadvantages is they ignore their ability. I believe that it is dependent on students. Some are not highly educated but today they are successful. Because of their talent and business skills.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear position is presented throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive in places. Furthermore, the response suffers from a critical length penalty, containing only 230 words, which falls short of the mandatory 250-word minimum specified for Task 2. This under-length impacts the overall fullness of the task response. While the ideas are relevant, such as motivation versus external limitations like finance, the lack of extended elaboration keeps the score at a lower band. Consequently, Task Achievement is penalised for length.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs representing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is utilised, although the conclusion is somewhat brief. Logical progression is attempted, but transitions between ideas can be abrupt or mechanical. For instance, phrases like "On the other hand" and "In addition" are used, but referencing is sometimes unclear, such as "this thing motivated pupils" where the antecedent is vague. Cohesive devices are minimally adequate rather than flexible. Overall, the arrangement provides a coherent flow, but the mechanical nature of the cohesion and occasional referencing issues place it firmly in the mid-range of coherence criteria.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but lacks sophistication and precision. The student makes noticeable errors in word choice, such as using "acquire anything" instead of "achieve anything" or "diligent do not matter" instead of "hard work is not enough". There are also spelling errors like "decipline" and "telent". Less common lexical items are attempted, but they frequently contain inaccuracies in collocation and form. While communication is generally maintained and the reader can follow the intended meaning, the restricted range and frequent errors in word selection prevent the essay from achieving a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over basic structures. However, frequent grammatical errors occur throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies ("hard work give success"), missing articles, and awkward phrasing ("This is not even possible every student became a doctor"). Punctuation is also faulty in places, such as incorrect full stops separating dependent clauses. While these errors rarely completely impede communication, they are persistent enough to prevent the majority of sentences from being error-free. The range of structures remains limited, reflecting typical Band 5 characteristics.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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