Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In several societies, pupils are frequently told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. In this essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this message.
One major advantage is that this belief motivates pupils to work hard. For instance, if they are weak in a subject, they focus more and give it extra hours. Even if they fail, they do not get upset because they believe that hard work gives success in the future. Therefore, they do not waste their time. In addition, they remain focused on an aim.
On the other hand, a major disadvantage is that children believe only hard work matters, but sometimes diligence alone is not enough. In many scenarios, luck, intelligence, discipline and talent also play a vital role in life. For example, it is not possible for every student to become a doctor, engineer or CEO. In addition, to become a doctor, you need hard work as well as money, because college fees are very expensive. For instance, my cousin was a topper in higher secondary school and her dream was to become a doctor, but she could not afford the fees.
In conclusion, although this message has both advantages and disadvantages, I believe its impact depends on how students interpret it.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. A clear position is presented in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion. However, the task achievement is significantly constrained by word count limitations. The length check confirms the response contains only 213 words, which falls well short of the 250-word minimum requirement. Consequently, the ideas, particularly the examples regarding financial constraints and other success factors like intelligence and luck, are under-developed due to the truncated length. While the content is relevant, the penalty for failing the length requirement pulls the overall task response score down to band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay demonstrates a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing advantages and disadvantages separately, and a brief conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as moving from motivation in paragraph two to practical limitations in paragraph three. Cohesive devices are employed, including transition markers like 'For instance', 'In addition', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. Referencing is mostly clear, though some transitions feel slightly mechanical and repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'In addition'. Despite the brevity of the response, the logical organisation and progression are generally sound, meriting a solid band 6.5 for coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, incorporating terms such as 'motivation', 'diligence', 'intelligence', 'financial constraints', and 'interpretation'. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, though word choices occasionally lack precision or natural collocation, such as 'hard work gives success' instead of 'hard work leads to success' or 'hard work brings success'. Spelling and word formation are generally accurate throughout the short text. While the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main ideas clearly, it lacks the flexibility, sophistication, and precision required to reach higher band levels, making a band 6.0 appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing conditional structures ('if they are weak', 'if they fail') and concessive clauses ('although this message has both advantages and disadvantages'). There are instances of good grammatical control, and punctuation is generally handled correctly. However, error-free sentences are not consistently maintained, and some structures are somewhat repetitive. The grammar does not impede communication, and the reader can easily follow the arguments presented. Because the structural range is somewhat limited and minor errors persist in a mixed sentence variety, a band 6.0 accurately reflects the grammatical performance.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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